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The negative habits of being dishonest, selfish, unkind, uncaring or possessive beyond reasonable point, they all have their roots in the same problem which is the problem of paying so much attention to yourself and giving so much importance to yourself that you are unable to worry or care about other people and about their due share in the scheme of things around you or in the scheme of this universe when considered on a bigger level. Hence if you are suffering from anyone of these problems, most of the others will come complementary to you as these habits come in a bundle offer, so you ask for one and you get the other ones for free whether you want them or not.

As always, let’s first try to understand this problem from its root and in this case, too strong an attachment with yourself is the root cause of this problem as such attachment gives birth to a strong type of greed which wants to collect more and more and at the same time, it doesn’t want to release much or anything at all. The people suffering from this problem of being too selfish have a strong script written on their subconscious mind where this script says that more and more good things available in this world should come to them and in order to achieve them, even if they have to be dishonest or engage in unfair practices, it is fine and it is not a big issue or no issue at all.

Though some of you may think that being selfish and being dishonest are two different habits but this is not the case as these two habits are closely related. In fact, being too selfish is the root cause of all the problems mentioned above. For example, if a person is dishonest or cheating other people, what is the primary reason behind such cheating in most such cases? Well, the reason obviously is that this person wants to gain advantage or profit from other people where such profits are not the ones that he deserves in a fair way and hence he decides to engage in the practice of cheating.

Now try to look at the deepest levels and understand the fact that if this person was not too selfish, he would not have wanted to gain advantages by cheating others and accordingly, he would not have engaged in such practices. It is only the strong subconscious desire to gain more and more for himself, by hook or by crook, which strongly motivates him to engage in cheating. Since he does all this to please himself, he is certainly a selfish person and nothing else as a person who only thinks about his gain and his progress and tries to make it happen with any possible means whether such means are fair or foul, can only be a selfish person. On the other hand, a person who is not selfish; always thinks of achieving good things without causing a negative impact on others and he never wants to hurt other people in order to gain advantages from them.

Likewise, other problems like being uncaring, unkind or possessive beyond a reasonable point all have their roots in selfishness. All these habits are born due to one reason only: wanting more and more good things for yourself and not give out much. For example, when you are unkind to someone, in most cases, it is only because you know that to be kind, you will have to lose something or let go of something that you own or possess, if such help demands resources. On the other hand if such an act requires physical help or guidance, the first thing that comes to the mind of these people is “why should I help this person when there is nothing in it for me?“ As you can see, in the first case, this person is not helping others in order to save his possessions whereas in the second case, he is not willing to help as he doesn’t see any gains for himself.

Hence both situations lead to the same conclusion that this person is selfish, because he doesn’t want to let go of even smallest of the things that he owns to help others and he doesn’t want to help anyone until such help brings him material gains. The same logic goes for being uncaring, as in order to care for someone, you will need to be selfless in most cases and you will need to think beyond your personal gains, which is something that a selfish person may never do. Likewise in case of being too possessive, it is only a selfish person who doesn’t want to let go of any of his possessions whether such a possession is a thing or a person. When you look at the bigger picture, a person who is willing to negatively affect the lives of others or affect the scheme of things in the universe in a negative way, merely to gain advantages for himself, doesn’t have any respect for the well being of other people and species and all he cares about is himself and his profits, is definitely selfish because he is thinking about himself only and no one or nothing else.

Each of us may have to act selfish, dishonest, uncaring, unkind or possessive sometimes as such acts may be necessary according to the demand of a situation and even though it may not be right, it is acceptable in such cases. It should be understood that in the context of this topic, only those people should be considered selfish, who keep engaging in such negative practices repeatedly and intentionally. These people choose the path of dishonesty even when honesty can get them good things though in less amounts, which is exactly what they don’t want and which is exactly what makes them too selfish. Hence being selfish at times is fine as it may be needed to survive in this material world but being too selfish and causing troubles for others is a big problem as it can not only cause troubles for you in the short run, but it can also reduce your chances of achieving anything good later on in life or even in the coming lives.

The negative habits mentioned above are the ones which are capable of adding more and more negative energy to your aura as most practices done through these negative habits are classified as bad karmas. Hence you keep adding more and more negative energy to your aura by engaging in increasing number of bad karmas and as you know by now, whether it is good karma or bad karma that you are engaging in, you will have to face the fruit of such karmas sooner or later. As you engage in more and more bad karmas, your aura becomes more and more negative and accordingly, you start lacking one of the three essential factors required for success in life. This factor is called luck, chance or opportunity in practical language and in technical language; it is called a positive aura which is something you would never want to lack, if you wish to achieve more and more good things in your life.

Therefore, if you are suffering from this negative habit of being too selfish, it is the time that you get out of it and hence you should start making conscious efforts to get rid of this habit as it is not only capable of causing problems for you in your present and future lives but it can also make you suffer a complete downgrade of level among species. If such a thing happens, you are in real trouble because once your level is downgraded; there is no easy or early comeback possible and whether you believe it or not, you lose thousands of valuable years in which you could have evolved far more, developed tremendously and even accomplished many great things. So once again, if you are suffering from this problem, start dealing with it now as being even a little late, can prove too late in this case.

Looking at some activities which can help you get rid of this problem of being too selfish at the very first level, you should start engaging in more and more number of small but conscious acts of kindness or conscious acts of letting go and releasing your possessions. For best results, start easy and small, and then increase it as otherwise, you may end up worsening your problem rather than curing it. For example, if donating USD 5 to a needy person or organization is just about fine with you, then you should start this practice from here only, instead of making a donation of USD 500 straight away in a bout of motivation as doing the latter is very likely to bring many regrets later on and you may choose to disengage from this whole practice. At the same time, you may start finding ways to recover your lost money by some means and such means as you know, are likely to be foul, considering your nature at this time and since those means are foul, they will only increase your troubles instead of decreasing them.

Therefore, you should always start with small acts of kindness and with releasing small amounts of your possessions as the attachment of your ego as well as that of your subconscious mind with all your possessions is very high at this time and accordingly, your subconscious mind will resist any attempt at letting go of any of these possessions. Once again, the smaller the possession, the less is the resistance; the bigger the possession, the more the resistance. For this reason, you should start engaging in such activities from a small scale at your first level. Whenever you start feeling comfortable with releasing a particular amount of your possessions, increase the level of difficulty and start engaging in acts of kindness which demand more of your possessions or efforts.

It should be noted that the term ‘Act of kindness’ doesn’t necessarily mean giving out money and things that you have earned and it simply means offering any type of help even if it is a physical help or support of any type. It is recommended that people who are suffering from this problem and who at the same time have many possessions or are financially sound, they should always donate money or other possessions to the needy people at the first level though they can offer physical help also at the same time. On the other hand, the people suffering from this problem who don’t have many possessions or financial resources should start offering more and more physical as well as moral support to needy people or organizations.

As you keep doing this, a stage will come when your subconscious mind starts understanding your new request which says that, you are now comfortable with releasing some of your possessions and willing to help more and more people without any benefit for yourself. When this message starts reaching your subconscious mind again and again with each one of your conscious acts of kindness, your subconscious mind will start putting less amount of resistance. Accordingly, you will start finding it easier to engage in more and more such acts and this is where your problem starts getting cured. As you keep engaging in acts of kindness, you start feeling more and more relieved and finally, a day will come when you are completely cured or relieved to the maximum extent.

It is worth mentioning that as your primary problem of being too selfish starts going away, all the other problems such as being unkind, being uncaring, being dishonest and being too possessive will also start going away. This is because, as your subconscious mind registers this new script saying that you want to release your possessions in order to help other people or species, your subconscious mind will start putting up resistance when you choose or try to do the opposite.

This means, when you want to be dishonest, uncaring, possessive or unkind, your subconscious mind will resist you because engaging in such activities will require you to attach more and more possessions to yourself, whereas your subconscious mind has a strong script saying, ‘Don’t have many possessions and instead start releasing them’. Accordingly, it starts sending positive fears to you in form of inner voices which will tell you to disengage from such acts of being selfish.

So all you have to do is to write this specific script of being unselfish on your subconscious mind with repeated and conscious efforts and then, your subconscious mind will start ensuring that you don’t engage in acts of selfishness and instead, it will start motivating you to engage in more and more selfless acts. Selfless acts are done for the benefit of other people, where you don’t work for any direct benefit or profit for yourself and this is exactly what we want to accomplish in order to get rid of this problem of being too selfish.

Before ending this chapter, let me ask you this simple question. Would you bother to engage in more and more negative karmas by cheating or hurting other people in order to gain more and more rewards or possessions for you, when you already know that you are going to give away these possessions through acts of kindness? The answer is no as you are facing big loss in this case, since you gain more and more negative energy to have these possessions and these possessions are even then not supposed to be with you for long. What is then the point of engaging in such acts of cheating or dishonesty?

Understand this fact that being kind requires you to be selfless and when the habit of being selfless comes to you, the habit of being too selfish has to leave you as like in the case of other habits lying exactly opposite to each other, the habit of being selfless and the habit of being selfish can’t stay together. So, all you have to do is to invite the habit of being selfless through conscious efforts and then register this with your subconscious mind. As the habit of being selfless comes to you, the habit of being too selfish has no choice but to leave you.

Always remember that when you start to help more and more people and you start bringing various types of relieves to them, you develop a subconscious tendency of making people happy and relieved. Once this tendency becomes strong, it becomes very difficult for you to hurt people and make them suffer because you now have a habit of making them happy and not a habit of making them sad.

Your subconscious mind can be your best friend and it can also be your worst enemy. Even though it is the strongest friend as well as the strongest enemy that you can ever get, it is graceful enough not only to always give you this choice; but also to allow you to change your choice anytime, even though that may need much effort and time. So make your choices wisely and make the best use of your subconscious mind and its abilities, if you want to achieve more and more in your life and if you want to develop more and more as a person and as a soul.

 

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To be Continued

Lord Shiva Bless You

Himanshu Shangari