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So don’t worry much about who hurts you or how many people hurt you, don’t take it too personally and move on to the next person after leaving this person behind. To experiment, select, reject and then move on to keep doing more experiments in order select more and more things and people of your choice, is the basic mantra of life and you simply can’t ignore this rule if you wish to have a life, worthy of being called a life. So keep meeting and trusting people who initially seem to be worthy of being trusted, keep the ones who honor your trust, get rid of the ones who are not worthy of your trust and then keep moving on with your life by meeting, trusting, testing, selecting and rejecting more and more people.

If you are still not motivated enough, do a small but valuable experiment. Mix any type of edible whole grains say whole wheat with many other items which are not edible and some of which may be just garbage like very small pieces of iron, plastic and other such things. Make this mixture in such a ratio that the grains are only one tenth of the mixture and rest of the ninety percent is made by non-edible items. Now throw this mixture over a place where birds may access this mixture. Soon you will observe that though the mixture is full of non-edible items some of which may be potentially harmful for the birds if eaten, the birds are still coming in great numbers, they are carefully selecting the whole wheat grains from the mixture and they are eating them, whereas they are leaving all the junk items put in the mixture.

This process will keep going and soon you will find that the birds have searched for and eaten all of the whole wheat grains whereas they have rejected everything else which is ninety percent of your mixture. Some of these birds may try a few other items also, which may be new for them, like a very small piece of plastic which resembles something edible; but they come to know soon after trying it that it is not good for them and they leave it. So the birds come, choose and eat ten percent of useful items whereas they leave ninety percent of the mixture after finding that it is useless for them.

Now repeat this experiment and reduce the percentage of whole wheat grains in the mixture, say make them five percent this time. The birds will once again do the same, eat five percent of whole grains and reject the rest ninety-five percent mixture. Even if you make a mixture with only one percent whole wheat grains and ninety-nine percent non-edible or even harmful items, the birds are smart enough to select one percent whole grains and reject ninety-nine percent of non-edible items or so to say the items which are worth nothing for them.

You can do this experiment with many other species by mixing small quantities of what they like, with large quantities of what they don’t want at all, and you will see that each time the result is the same. These species will pick up what they like and they will reject what they don’t want. The most valuable lesson to learn is that though you may keep mixing one percent useful things with ninety-nine percent useless things and keep offering such mixture to any species again and again, say to the birds; each time you offer a new mixture of one percent useful and ninety-nine percent useless items, the birds will truly and happily welcome you instead of cursing you.

What I mean to say and convey is that you are giving the birds a very difficult task by mixing majority of useless items with a small percentage of useful items and you are doing it again and again, so they should curse you for making their job so difficult each time. But they will not do so and on the other hand, you will find that they become happier each time you spread a new mixture having majority of useless things and a small percentage of useful things. The birds are welcoming you again and again because they know this most valuable fact that an opportunity is always better than no opportunity, no matter how hard that opportunity may be.

Compare this situation with the one where you don’t offer the birds anything at all and you will realize that even though the first situation is difficult to handle for them, it still serves them value and rewards them for the efforts done by them whereas in the second situation, they get nothing at all. So the first situation presents opportunity and rewards no matter how difficult they may be whereas the second situation gives them no opportunity, no rewards and nothing at all. Though you save the birds a lot of trouble in the second situation by not making them select a small percentage of mixture with great difficulty, they still don’t like this situation as there are no rewards for them. On the other hand, they welcome you every time you bring a new challenge for them because no matter how hard this challenge may be for them, they know for sure that they are going to get rewarded in the end, and that is what matters the most.

Hence the birds will not curse you for giving them an opportunity which comes with only one percent chance of success and ninety-nine percent chances of failure or no gain, but they will welcome you and thank you for giving them this opportunity because they know that even one percent chance of success is much better than no chance which happens if they don’t have anything to do, try or select from. You see, even the smallest of the species of nature have learnt this most valuable lesson of life by heart, and humans are probably the only ones, most of whom are either not aware of this most valuable lesson of life or they don’t want to learn it even after knowing its importance and value.

So learn to experiment, do new things, meet new people, trust more people, get rewarded and get hurt too, because this is how life is meant to be. If you have to pick up one out of the two choices where the first one is die sitting on shore being scared of going into the ocean and the second one is die drowning in the ocean, never go for the first choice and always pick the second one. This is because if you choose to die sitting on the shore, you will die achieving nothing or even attempting nothing whereas if you choose to go to the ocean, explore it as much as you can and then die drowning, you have given yourself a lot. You have attempted new things, you have achieved new things, you have continuously engaged in karmas and you will die the death of a fighter and that of an achiever instead of dying the death of a scared or fearful person who has done nothing special with his life and he dies a loser.

Speaking of a loser, though there may be some conflicting opinions about the definition of loser, but the real loser is obviously not the one who tries something with all his heart, soul and ability, but fails to achieve his target; instead the real loser is the one who doesn’t try at all. For example, if an athlete finishes at fourth position in a race, he is not a loser because he may have finished after a few people but he is still better than most other people. This means that though three people are better than him when it comes to running, he has continuously trained himself and he has achieved a position where most people in the world can’t compete with him when it comes to running.

An effort that makes a person better than most other people in a particular sphere, though he may still lag behind a few people, doesn’t make him a loser and it certainly makes him an achiever, a winner and more than that, a fighter. A loser is the one who doesn’t gain anything and that is only possible in one condition which is not to try at all. Even if a person finishes last in a race, he is still an achiever and not a loser because he is trying to achieve something and he is giving it his best, instead of not trying at all, due to fear of finishing last or anything else.

The person finishing last may not have achieved anything in some people’s opinion, but it is only a misconception and he has actually achieved a lot. In order to compete in this race, he has taken the initiative, he has trained himself to run better and better, and he has given it his best at the race. So he has improved his performance a lot over a period of time and though he is still not as good as 20 other people who finish before him, he is better than many other people who can’t beat him now and who can’t even think of competing with him now. Hence he has achieved less than 20 other people but he has still achieved a lot and accordingly, he is not a loser.

A loser is the one who could have given it a try but who didn’t do so and he let go of this opportunity. Losing a contest, a target, a person or anything else for that matter doesn’t make you a loser, but losing a real opportunity certainly makes you a loser. When it comes to losing an opportunity, you don’t lose it if you are not able to get the maximum it has to offer like finishing first in a race, you lose it partly when you try it and don’t give it your best and you lose it completely when you don’t try it at all and that is what makes you a loser.

Real success and real achievements don’t lie in getting the most an opportunity can offer, but they lie in giving it your best, even though you may only be able to achieve the minimum it has to offer. You may have achieved the minimum but you are far better than the ones who didn’t try at all, because in order to give it your best, you have to bring out the best in you and though the opportunity comes and goes with whatever results, the best in you that you have found, still stays with you. It means you are more capable now and you can perform better, the next time an opportunity comes to you. So you are certainly a winner and not a loser, unlike the one who doesn’t try at all and accordingly he stands no chance of gaining anything and finding the best in him and that makes him a loser.

When it comes to specific abilities or talents, there are always many people in the world who are better or much better than you in those spheres and you will certainly lose the competition if you choose to compete with them. But that doesn’t make you a loser because real winning or losing is not when you can or can’t perform better than a few people, it is whether you can or can’t do the needful to improve yourself and give it your best, every time an opportunity comes your way. You’ll be surprised to know that you actually gain much more when you compete with people better than you compared to when you compete with people not as good as you, in a specific sphere of life.

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To be Continued

Lord Shiva Bless You

Himanshu Shangari