God simply can’t afford to give you any favours when he’s judging your acts and he’s willing to do everything for you when he’s not judging your acts.

In the deepest sense; it means that loving you is his natural choice and judging you is a part of his duty. This is why he may punish you but he may never hate you and in fact he may continue loving you. Kindly understand that the punishment is for your act and the love is for you. Since your acts are not you; which means your karmas are not your soul since the soul remains unaffected from good and bad karmas; he simply can’t hate you. Whether you know or not; he’s in love with your soul which can never be corrupted. Since your soul remains the same; his love for your soul also remains the same.

On the other hand, since your acts are the resultant of your personality at any point in time; he punishes your acts or your personality and not you. It has been mentioned that in the third type of love which is soul deep; you can dislike the habits or personality of a person but you can’t hate him; once you fall in such love. Same is happening here; God is judging your acts and he’s not judging you. This is why he delivers favourable decisions at times and unfavourable ones at times; since these decisions are based on the nature of your acts, which keeps changing.

Hence he continues loving you the same; though he may like or dislike your acts; at different times; based on the positive or negative nature of those acts. Therefore, even if you receive punishment; you should know that he loves you and this punishment is the resultant of your act; and not the resultant of the dislike that you think he has for you.

It reminds of the saying, ‘hate the evil and not the one who does it’. Your evil acts are not because of you and they’re because of your personality at that time. Hence your personality should be hated and not you. The reason your personality should be hated is that by doing so; the people who hate your personality may stay away from such personality; so that they may not engage in evil deeds.

Since you’re a soul in the deepest sense; and a soul is always pure, free from each type of corruption; it should only be loved. Hence your practice of hating the evil acts of a person is like hating your evil acts, which is fair as it helps you stay away from evil acts. On the other hand, hating this person as a soul means hating yourself as well as God; since all the souls belong to the same source. Hence hating his soul means that in the deepest sense; you’re hating God; as his soul is coming from there only; and it’ll go there only.

This is why you should not hate anyone and at the most; you should dislike their negative habits or negative acts. If you hate the habit of stealing that a thief has; this hate will help you stay away from stealing. However, if you choose to hate the thief instead; you’re only going to trouble yourself in the long run. This is because you now hate his uncorrupted soul; which is a negative practice.

Looking at an interesting fact related to your act of offering a part of money to a religious place; God may punish your acts and he may love your soul at the same time. However, you may not be able to do so and you may start having grudges against him. Technically it means that you’re not in love with God and you’re in love with his acts of a specific type; at the most. It means your love is of the second type at the most; which changes when the acts of God change. Hence you love him more when his acts are favourable for you and you love him less; when his acts trouble you; though you duly deserve such troubles.

Going back to the example, you keep engaging in acts of selfishness and you manage subconscious guilt by engaging in acts of kindness. Your ego is fooling you and since this guilt is only being pacified for the time being; and it is not going away. It is like you pay the interest for a loan. Though the lender is pacified for some time; you haven’t paid the principle amount which still stands firm. Sooner or later; you’ll have to pay this amount in order to be actually free from it. Till that moment, you may at the most buy temporary relief by paying interest from time to time.

Moving ahead, suppose on a particular day, a person comes to you, he asks for some medicines which are expensive; he offers you only a part of the payment and he requests you to give him some time to arrange the remaining amount of money. You refuse him straight away and you tell him to pay in full if he wants medicines. He requests you that these medicines are for his son whose health condition has suddenly deteriorated, like he’s met with a serious accident and infection in his blood is increasing at a fast rate.

He tells you that the doctor says these medicines should be given to him at the earliest. He requests you repeatedly and he even offers his watch as a security. You’re neither interested in his son nor in this watch and all you want is money. Hence you refuse to give medicines and this person leaves your shop. Later on, he visits your shop with some people, they all look angry and they curse you for not giving him the medicines on time; as his son has died due to lack of proper medicines. This father is crying like hell and he curses you with some very bad things; like your son should also die like his son and you should not be able to save him.

This may prove a life turning event as the guilt caused by this event may be a strong type of conscious guilt. Even if you have reasonable amount of conscience, your ego may not be able to close this file. With every passing moment, hour and day; this guilt may start getting stronger; your ego may not be able to do much to handle it and before it looks for a balancing act; this conscious guilt may activate all the occurrences of your subconscious guilt of the same type.

As a result, a number of such memories from past may start haunting you when you engaged in acts of selfishness and you hurt people through them. As more and more such memories of guilt start dominating your conscious mind; a transformation is very likely to happen. Since every act of guilt needs an act of balance; you now need to balance all these occurrences of guilt before you can have some peace of mind. Since all this guilt has now become conscious guilt; conscious acts are required to balance it; as already explained earlier.

Hence you’re facing a situation where you need to consciously balance all this guilt; through a series of conscious acts of kindness. This is where your acts of repentance may begin in reality. It should be noted that you may not be able to fool yourself in case of conscious acts of balancing any type of guilt; by engaging in acts of eyewash; and you have to actually do things similar in quantum to that of the guilt. This is because conscious awareness makes it very difficult to do or not do something; which it finds wrong or right.

For example, if you’re a non-vegetarian and you eat all types of meat; this is what may happen in case of conscious and subconscious awareness. As long as you keep purchasing meet from a shop and you keep eating it; some type of subconscious guilt may be there, as you may think that killing animals for meat is bad. However, since you’re not killing them directly which means consciously; the guilt created in this case is subconscious and hence it can be handled relatively easily.

Let’s now convert this guilt into conscious guilt and see what happens. In order to do so, let’s introduce a variable. Suppose you love chicken and this condition says that you have to kill each and every chicken you want to eat, by yourself and only then you may eat it. Now imagine you’re to purchase a live chicken each time you wish to eat it; you have to kill it; you have to see it dying in pain and only then you’re able to eat it. Though some people may still manage to engage in this act; a number of people may quit the thought of eating chicken as guilt rising from the act of killing chickens again and again may prove difficult to handle for them.

Though the chickens are being killed in both the cases and they’re being killed for you, why is it easy for you to handle this fact in the first case whereas you find it difficult to handle in the second case? As you may know by now, the guilt rising from the first type of act is subconscious guilt and hence it is far easier to handle this type of guilt. Your ego or intellect may tell you that you didn’t ask anyone to kill this chicken and you only purchased a dead chicken. It means if you hadn’t purchased it; someone else would have done so; and the chicken would have been killed anyway.

All such reasons may certainly be capable of fooling you on conscious level; but the truth is otherwise. Do you really think if you as well as everyone else stops going to such shops for purchasing meat; they’ll continue killing animals? You know that the answer is no; since the people selling meat kill these animals for money and they don’t have any personal enmity with these animals. As soon as everyone stops purchasing them; they’ll stop killing them and it is as simple as that. Even if 10% people stop eating chicken, fewer chickens will be killed due to the rule of demand and supply.

Hence you’re certainly responsible for these killings, no matter how good you may be at fooling yourself. The moment you stop eating chicken; the chickens to be consumed by you in future will not be killed. It means your disengagement from this practice may reduce the number of chickens being killed for meat; though this reduction may be very small.

It’s like global pollution is at the highest; fuel burned by the cars is the main culprit; you own two cars and you think you’re not responsible. You may even convince yourself with logics like, ‘I don’t drive much’, but these are just excuses. The truth is that everyone who’s using something which causes pollution is certainly responsible for it and hence there should be no excuses for it.

However, since the act of polluting the air is a collective act; the responsibility is shared and this is what gives everyone a reason to satisfy himself that his part is very small in this act. The same happens in case of killing animals also; as it too is a collective act. Hence it gives you the luxury to think that even if you stop eating animals; other people will keep doing so and hence they’ll be killed anyways. It means they’re not being killed for you and you’re just eating the already killed animals.

I’m not saying that eating animals or even killing them for meat is bad as this choice is to be made by each individual for himself or herself. What I’m saying is that if you’re eating them; you should be able to accept this fact that they’re being killed for you if not by you. Hence if you’re comfortable with this fact that you like eating chickens and some of them are being killed for you; there are no issues at all; since you’re being honest.

 
The reason you may choose to go to a religious place to donate this amount; instead of donating it to any other place or person; is due to an important fact. Throughout your journey so far; you’ve learnt this fact again and again that there is someone called God and he judges each and every act of yours. There’re two options from here; where one of them says you don’t believe in God and the second one says you do.

Looking at the first option; you may not go to a religious place in this case and you may instead donate this amount to someone or some institution; to which you assign the maximum value deep down. It means if you feel deep down that donating to baggers is the best type of donation; you may donate money to a bagger or baggers; each time you engage in acts of selfishness; to pacify your subconscious guilt. This is because the guilt rising from acts of selfishness is your guilt; which means it lies within your mind and accordingly; the best way to pacify it is to do something which is the best choice for doing so; according to your own mind.

This is why different people engaging in the same types of negative acts may try to pacify the guilt through different positive acts. For instance, if two thieves steal from a house and subconscious guilt is formed; one of them may donate to a religious place and the second one may make such donation to an orphanage; depending on what comforts them the most. It means though the guilt may rise from the same act; different people may choose to balance it through different types of acts; depending on the interpretation of their minds; related to such acts of balancing out.

Due to the same reason; different people who engage in negative acts may choose to engage in different types of negative acts. For instance; one criminal may prefer to engage in financial type of crimes whereas another criminal may choose to engage in violent type of crimes; depending on their mindsets; which further depend on their journeys so far. You see, even the type of good and bad acts committed by us are connected to our experiences from past lives. This is why the journey of a soul is said to be continuous since whatever you do in one life or at one point in time; has influence on what you may choose to do in future.

Looking at the option which says you believe in God; you have this knowledge deep down that God is going to judge each and every act of yours; sooner or later. Accordingly; your ego finds a way to pacify your guilt in the best possible manner. It suggests you that if an act of kindness balances an act of selfishness and the final judgment is to be made by God; it is wise to develop friendship with God. This way; your ego fools you that since you’re a devotee of God; he’ll give you some favours while judging your acts; compared to how he judges the acts of the ones who don’t offer donations to religious places.

This is because you see most people giving favours to the ones who give them favours. It keeps happening in this material world and whether it is a judge, police officer, politician or anyone else for that matter; they may judge you favourably if you’re a devotee of theirs, which means you give them favours. This is simple mathematics and hence you learn and memorize it. When it comes to your acts which are to be judged by God; you apply the same formula. It means you start offering favours to God, at least according to your ego; and you start assuming that when he judges you; these favours will be returned.

However, this is where you’re making a mistake. People who have given you favours from time to time; have egos in significant quantum. When it comes to God; there’s conscience alone and there’s no ego. It means that no matter how many favours you offer him; he’ll always judge you fairly; if and when he has to.

As you may remember; ego lives in past or future whereas conscience lives in present or to be precise; in the moment. When an officer gives you favour; his ego visits past and it looks at the favours given by you to him; and these favours influence his decision. His ego then visits the future and it finds that his future image depends on his decision; which means you’ll respect or disrespect him in future; based on his decision. The greed or fear based in future also affects his decision and hence he ends up giving you favours; though the present moment is shouting that you’re guilty. Hence he partly or completely ignores the facts presented before him at that moment; and he delivers decision based in past and future.

When it comes to God; there is no past and there is no future; and all there is the present moment. Hence when your case will be judged; none of the favours offered by you will be considered since they’re the things based in past. Likewise; the fact whether you’ll continue being a devotee or not; will also not be considered since this fact is based in the future. All that matters is the moment of judgment and he’ll do that thing only; which is worthy of being done; according to that and that moment alone.

At that moment; he’s the judge and it is his duty to judge you fairly. This is all there is and this is all he’s going to do. Hence you’re not going to get any favours in return for the money that you offer to a religious place; when your case is judged. It doesn’t mean that those acts are waste; it simply means you shouldn’t expect them to work this way. Due rewards for all those acts will be forwarded to you and none of them will go waste.

Yes, the concept of repentance is there and it works also; but it may not apply in your case due to two reasons. The concept of repentance works on the basis of balancing out your negative karmas with positive karmas of equal quantum or more. When it comes to your case, you’re offering Rs. 10 to a religious place after earning Rs. 1000 through negative karmas; which means you’re trying to balance out a negative karma with a positive karma which is 100 times less in quantum. Hence it is not going to work much.

Looking at the second and bigger reason; repentance is meant for people who become consciously aware of their negative acts. It means that they may not only engage in positive karmas which are equal to or more in quantum than their negative karmas in question; they are also likely to disengage from such negative karmas in future. This reason is deeply related to the first reason; and this is why as long as you’re spending a small part of the money earned by you through negative practices; towards acts of repentance; it simply means your repentance is not true deep down.

It means your guilt is subconscious at this stage. Hence you simply want to keep it under control and you don’t want to remove the root cause of this guilt; which are your acts of selfishness in this case. Since there’s no true repentance; you’re not likely to qualify for the benefits falling under the clause of repentance.

This is because repentance is supposed to benefit those people only; who are consciously aware of their negative acts; though such acts may not be all of their negative acts and they may only be one type of negative acts; like all acts of selfishness in this case. Hence you qualify for repentance; only when your guilt becomes conscious. However when that happens; you may not need many favours from God; and this is why.

The moment you become consciously aware that you’re engaging in negative acts; you’ll get rid of all the money earned through such negative acts. For instance, you’ll donate Rs. 1000 to a religious place, if it is the first time you’re engaging in an act of selfishness. When that happens; you’ll naturally stop engaging in acts of selfishness because you know that you’ll end up offering all the money earned through acts of selfishness; to a religious place. It means you’ll lose the money anyway; so what is the point in earning it through the acts of selfishness.

Hence you’ll naturally move away from engaging in acts of selfishness as you see no benefit in them. As you stop doing so; the need to offer money to religious places in order to get favours from God during the judgment for such negative acts also goes away. This is because you’re not engaging in this type of negative acts now; and you don’t need to fear God accordingly. You only fear the judge when you know you’re a criminal and not otherwise; assuming the judge is a fair one like God.

This is why conscious guilt and conscious awareness are the most important factors; when it comes to get rid of a negative habit or stay away from it. Since you’re only offering Rs. 10 out of Rs. 1000 and you keep engaging in more negative acts of the same type; you’re not going to benefit under the clause of repentance.

Hence your acts may be judged fairly; and the donations offered by you may also be judged fairly; though they may benefit you in other ways.

 
You simply can’t do that and hence in the deepest sense; the last step is nothing but the resultant of a series of steps where each step contributes equally. No step is more important than another and they’re all equal in importance. Taking an example, if your turn out to be a kind person at the age of 50; each one of these years, each one of the days so far and each one of the moments so far has contributed equally in making you what you are at this time. Hence no moment or no act is more important than the other in the deepest sense; though you may think so.

For example, you might have been a violent and selfish type of person till your age of 40 and you might have started your journey of kindness; only after your age of 40. Hence you may think your life before 40 didn’t do much to make you kind and those years were less important or not important at all. However, this is only what you think and this is not true in reality.

If you analyze the journey of your life carefully, you’ll find that each one of those acts of violence or selfishness created guilt inside you and this guilt encouraged you to move away from violence and selfishness. Though the guilt rising from one such act was not sufficient to bring about a change this big in quantum; the guilt rising from thousands of such acts of selfishness over a period of many years was sufficient to bring about this change. It means that deep down; each one of those acts helped you move away from selfishness as they helped you become aware that selfishness is bad and you should choose kindness instead.

As already mentioned a number of times; awareness is the first thing you need in order to change something. It is easy to understand that you’ll never try to fix something, unless you become aware that it is broken. For instance, if your watch stops as the battery has run out, you may get the battery replaced so that it may start working again. However, if you’ve not used or even seen it for six months; it is lying somewhere safely and the battery has run out five months ago, the situation is different.

Though the watch has stopped working five months ago; you can only fix this issue once you become aware that there is an issue to start with. Suppose you decide to wear this watch at this moment and you see that the battery is dead; this issue is likely to be fixed at the earliest. However, if you don’t look at this watch for another year or so, the problem may persist. Though the watch is not working, the need to fix this issue doesn’t rise, since you don’t know this fact. Hence you have to be aware first that there is something that needs your attention and only then you can pay such attention.

When it comes to awareness about any bad habit or bad act; it can be achieved by two methods. The first method is the one through which wise people try to make you aware about good and bad things. Hence you can achieve awareness about the bad things you have or you may have in future, through the wisdom of the others; though the rest of the effort required in order to get rid of a bad habit or to stay away from a bad habit is to be done by you. Hence such wise people do a part of this job for you and you do the rest.

Looking at the second method; it gives you awareness through your own experiences and though the first method may not be available to everyone due to a number of variables, this method can be availed by everyone. Whenever you engage in any type of negative act, it creates guilt inside you whether you know it or not. For example, suppose you steal something from a shop and you escape the scene successfully.

Whether you feel it consciously or subconsciously; an amount of guilt has been formed inside you and this guilt will start creating problems for you, though it may all happen on the level of subconscious mind and you may not be consciously aware about this process. Though a number of things may happen, we’ll look at a couple of them. You may not go to this shop for a significant period of time as there is fear of getting caught and at the same time, there is the guilt of having stolen from this shop. Hence if you go to this shop; the circumstances may strengthen this guilt and you may find it difficult to handle.

Accordingly; you avoid going to this shop until this fear as well as this guilt reduces significantly. When it comes to fear, it’ll reduce with time as you know if no action is taken by the shopkeeper within a certain period of time; you’re safe. Hence as this period of time goes by, the fear reduces significantly. When it comes to guilt; it won’t go away on its own and you have to do something to get rid of it. Since this guilt is very likely to be subconscious guilt, the balancing act may also be subconscious.

The reason this guilt may be subconscious is that you may simply never be able to wait for long, with conscious guilt in this case; since conscious guilt is far more difficult to handle. This concept has already been explained earlier. In case conscious guilt rises after stealing, you may either go back to that shop to put this item back or you may donate it to someone who’s in need; and you may not be able to breathe properly until you get rid of this item. It doesn’t stop here and this guilt may not let you steal again. Conscious guilt is what is called awareness and as you know, awareness is the first thing you need in order to get rid of a bad habit.

Coming back to the subconscious guilt; it may trouble you for a few days and then you may automatically engage in a balancing act; to reduce its quantum or to be precise; to pacify it for the time being. Looking at one such act, suppose you’re at a public place and someone drops an item from his bag, like he drops his diary by mistake. Your subconscious mind finds it a good opportunity to balance out the guilt and hence it may act without delay.

You pick up this diary, you run after this person; you approach him and you give him this diary. As he feels thankful; your guilt has been taken care of, for the time being. The first act of steeling was committed under the command of your ego and this act has also been carried out under the command of your ego; though it has been carried out by your subconscious mind. As soon as you receive good words from this person; your ego convinces you that your negative act has been balanced out and hence your guilt is managed for the time being.

This is because you took something away from someone and now you helped someone retrieve a lost item. Hence your ego may convince you that you’ve paid for the first act as this person could have lost his important diary if you were not there to help him. It should be noted that this guilt has been registered at the request of your conscience and the balancing act has been provided by your ego. Though in reality, this act doesn’t balance the act of stealing, your ego now has something to stop you from listening to your conscience.

Let’s look at this series of events happening inside you. Your conscience tries to convince your mind that it is a negative act from the moment you steal it. Since you don’t have high conscience and you have high ego as otherwise; you would not have been able to steal this item to start with; your ego can influence your mind much more than your conscience. Hence your mind registers this complaint but not much is done against your ego, as it is strong.

However, your conscience keeps pressing this complaint in your mind and as a result, a type of disturbance is created inside your subconscious mind. This is because your conscience is making this complaint again and again; but no one is attending to it at all. Hence these voices continue and you keep being disturbed deep down. As soon as your ego manages to get you involved in the second act; it faces your conscience and it says it has paid for the negative act.

Though this payment is not good enough in reality; your ego convinces your mind that it is, as it is much stronger than your conscience; and hence this file is closed for the time being. It should be noted that your conscience may only choose to keep quiet on this issue for the time being; and it is not going to forget this issue. As a result, you may stop hearing such voices of guilt for the time being but this guilt is still there; deep in your subconscious mind.

It keeps happening and you keep creating more and more such pending files of guilt, through repeated acts of a type, like those of selfishness in case of the example chosen here. As this guilt collectively becomes high in quantum and it becomes too difficult for your mind to handle it; transformation starts happening. This is the time when all those closed files are reopened and each one of those memories starts haunting you.

The people who have witnessed this stage ever in their lives may agree that though they engaged in a number of negative acts of a type; such acts never bothered them much until a point in time. However, a random act of the same type say the act number 1000; suddenly created turmoil within them and everything started changing. This is because the guilt caused by such act was high in quantum and at the same time; it was conscious type of guilt.

It should be noted that when conscious guilt of strong type is witnessed; it reopens all the occurrences of subconscious guilt of the same type and this is when transformation happens. For instance; suppose you’ve been engaging in acts of selfishness for a long period of time and the guilt caused by these acts has been lying silently in your subconscious mind, as already explained. Suppose you run a chemist shop and you often engage in acts of selfishness through your profession.

For instance, there is no other chemist shop in this area and hence you often charge more money for medicines or you engage in some other acts of selfishness. Whenever subconscious guilt forms due to one such act of selfishness, you may engage in an act of kindness, in order to pacify such guilt for the time being. For instance, you may earn Rs. 1000 extra during a particular day; through a number of acts of selfishness and dishonesty. Each one of these acts may form guilt which is subconscious.

However through experience; your ego knows how to manage this guilt and hence you do the needful. The next morning, you visit a religious place before going to your shop and you drop Rs. 10 in the donation box. Through this act, your ego has managed to pacify the subconscious guilt for the time being. This is because you engaged in acts of selfishness and then you engaged in an act of kindness; which means the equation is balanced.

 
However when it comes to spiritual laws, this murder is committed not when this person dies; not when you injure him; not when you plan to kill him; but when you think of killing him for the first time. This first feeling or thought of killing him is the seed of this murder and as soon as this seed is planted, the tree and the fruits of this seed are mere formalities. Hence if this feeling or thought has corrupted your mind through your ego; the crime has been committed and sooner or later; you’re bound to kill.

It doesn’t mean you’ll end up killing the same person and it simply means that you’ll certainly end up engaging in an act of violence against a species; where the quantum of such violence may be equal to murder. For instance, if this person is much more powerful than you; you may not be able to kill him directly and this murder may happen in a number of different ways; depending on your overall personality and depending on some other variables.

For instance; if you like hunting; you may kill an animal; each time the thought of killing this person gains strength. It means that though you’re physically killing an animal during each one of such acts; in your mind; you’re killing this person. Though the law of the land may hold you responsible for killing this animal, if there is one such law; the spiritual law will hold you responsible for killing this person. This is because you’re killing all these animals in order to take out your anger against this person. Hence you’re killing this person deep down; each time you kill an animal after the thought of killing this person troubles your mind.

It means that your true intention behind an act is what matters the most in case of spiritual laws; and the effect of such act is secondary. Since your deepest intention while killing such animals is to kill this person; though even you may not know it consciously as it may happen subconsciously; you’re killing this person and not these animals.

During an encounter between a law enforcing agency and a criminal or a number of criminals; sometimes; innocent people are killed in cross fire and some of them may be killed by the bullets fired by the law enforcing agencies. Why is it so that these agencies are not punished for doing so? This is because their intention is to kill criminals and innocent people get killed by accident. Likewise, your intention is to kill this person and the animals are killed by accident. We’ll discuss more about this topic; later on.

Kindly understand that your spiritual growth is all about what is happening inside and it has got nothing to do with what is happening outside. In the deepest sense; any desire or wish once born inside you; is bound to come true one day or another; and it is only a matter of time. It means if you keep thinking of hurting a specific person or you keep thinking about killing him; you’ll eventually end up hurting or killing; though it may happen in this life or in the next life. Hence the law of the land can only judge you guilty when you injure or kill him physically, since the law doesn’t go deeper than the body in most cases.

However when it comes to the spiritual law; which means the law of your soul as well as that of the universe; you’re guilty as soon as you start killing this person inside your mind. This is because the corruption has already been caused; it’ll keep affecting your mind in a negative way due to which, your spiritual growth will be hindered; and that is what matters the most in the domain of spiritual laws. When it comes to the spiritual laws; their biggest concern is your own spiritual growth, and not other people.

Accordingly, whatever hinders your spiritual growth or whatever makes you travel in a direction opposite to that of spiritual advancement; is a crime. As a rule; more is this shift away from spiritual advancement, more is the quantum of crime committed through such thought or act. This is because the most precious thing in this universe is your spiritual growth and accordingly; any act that hurts your spiritual growth is the most serious type of act. More such an act hurts your spiritual growth; more is the quantum of crime. This is because more corruption means less harmony and less harmony means less spiritual growth.

In the deepest sense, the journey of spiritual growth is the journey of your mind and it is not the journey of your soul. This is because no changes can be made to the soul and all the changes are made to the mind only. If it is your mind which experiences all the good and bad changes; and if it is your mind which has to overcome all the problems which come your way; it is indeed the journey of your mind. It has already been mentioned that the ultimate stage of spiritual growth called sainthood is reached when your conscious and subconscious mind form perfect harmony on permanent basis.

It once again means this journey is indeed the journey of your mind and not that of your soul. Since your subconscious mind and soul are so closely attached; it becomes difficult to differentiate between them and that is why we use the word soul instead of using the word mind; or to be precise; the subconscious mind. As already mentioned; the same subconscious mind stays with your soul from beginning till the end, though some other entities may keep changing; like your body and conscious mind which change in each life. It is your subconscious mind which records all the experiences whether good or bad; through your conscious minds in different lives, throughout the journey of your soul.

Likewise, it is your mind which is responsible for each and every act, thought and feeling of yours. Hence it is indeed the journey of your mind. This is why it’s been mentioned many times that hell, heaven and liberation are the states of your mind and nothing else. Since it is your mind which reaches and experiences these states; it is the journey of your mind in the deepest sense. The soul on the other hand is more like a witness and it keeps watching each and everything which happens on the way to this journey.

Suppose you own a car and you have a driver also. Suppose you’re in a specific mood today, you ask your driver to drive to any place or places he wants; you don’t intend to interfere at all and you just want to be a witness to this drive or journey. As the journey starts; though you’re the owner of this car and you have the right to change the course of this journey anytime; this journey is indeed your driver’s journey in the deepest sense; since he’s the one who’s in charge of this journey and you’re merely a witness, until you choose to interfere.

The same happens in case of the soul also and it never interferes directly in this journey of your mind; though it does interfere indirectly through the conscience, which is the purest product produced by it. We’ll discuss this topic in details; in one of the coming parts of this book.

Let’s now look at these variables which are considered in case of spiritual law. Any entity which hinders or restricts the spiritual growth of your soul or so to say that of your mind at any point in time; is guilty and the crime is considered committed, as soon as such hindrance appears. Such acts of hindrances may be committed by your intellect or your heart at times; though they’re mostly committed by your ego.

Your body and your conscience don’t commit such crimes as your body is simply a tool and it can’t do anything on its own; and your conscience means the crime fighting agency in case of spiritual law. It means it is the job of your conscience to fight these crimes and help you achieve more and more spiritual growth. Since the conscience comes through soul; the soul does become indirectly involved in this journey.

When it comes to your conscious and subconscious mind; they can’t commit such crimes on their own and they’re used more like the weapons in the hands of your heart, intellect and ego at different times. Since the weapon is not considered guilty of a crime and the person using the weapon is considered guilty; the mind can’t be considered guilty in the deepest sense; and the entity using your mind at any time; for one such act of crime or corruption is guilty. Hence when you look at the bottom; all the corruptions are initiated from your intellect, heart or ego. Since heart and intellect can initiate corruptions only when they’re corrupted by ego; ego is in the root of all corruptions. We’ll discuss this topic in details; later on.

Coming back to the conditions which corrupt your love for this woman; as soon as you tell or expect her to wear long skirts; it is about your choice and it is not about her choice. Hence it is corruption and not love. Always remember the basic rule of love; as long as your lover is primary; it’s love. On the other hand, the moment you or your wish becomes primary; your love is corrupted. This is because in order for you or your wish to be primary; ego has to be there within you as this job is done only by the ego and by no other entity in most cases. Moving on, as long as there is ego; there can never be pure love because the percentage of ego means the percentage of corruption in your love.

Technically it means that only a liberated soul is able to practice pure love since the moment ego drops to 0% which means the moment it disappears; you’re liberated. However, since a soul can reach a stage as high as having 1% ego or even less; before achieving liberation as every soul has to cross this point at one point in time or another; as the journey of spiritual growth is progressive; all of us can engage in love; which is almost pure.

Since spiritual journey is progressive as well as continuous; the best thing about it is that we can make progress with each and every passing second, even if such progress is small. However, small or big progress is secondary and what is primary is the fact that progress is happening; and that too in the right direction. For instance, if you’re supposed to go to distant city, you’re supposed to go on foot; this city is about 1000 kms from the point of start of your journey; this is what may happen. Though 1000 kms means 1 million steps approximately, and when you compare the first step taken by you to complete this journey or any step for that matter; it may look like nothing in comparison to 1 million steps.

In reality; the first step and any other step on the way to this destination is equally important and equally relevant as the last step and hence they’re all the same. It should be noted that though you officially reach this destination when you take your step number 1 million which is the last step of this journey; this step is dependent on each one of the steps which comes before it. Can you imagine taking your last step without taking your first step, your step number 100, your step number 1000 or any other step for that matter?

 
Coming back to the mother of the second type; she’s conditioning her son in a way that he may feel indebted so that returns are assured.

Looking at the third act; she wakes up for an entire night in order to attend to her son and then she asserts this fact in the morning. This is an act similar to the second act and hence it is easy to understand that this mother is asserting the favour done by her to her son; in order to strengthen the conditioning of her son’s subconscious mind; though even she may not know it consciously.

The last act of giving money to her son and then asserting this fact is also a similar type of act though it is higher in quantum; compared to all other acts. This is because when you save an amount of money over 20 years; your ego gets attached to it and hence it becomes difficult to give this amount of money to anyone. The fact that she’s still able to give this entire amount or a part of it to her son tells that she certainly loves her but at the same time; she knows that she’s doing him a big favour.

Accordingly; the quantum of assertion is higher in this case as the quantum of assertion is proportional to the quantum of act of favour in such cases. This is why if you offer your friend a glass of water when he needs it; you don’t feel like asserting this fact much that you’ve done him a favour; since it is a small favour. However, if he wishes to borrow your car for three days; it is an altogether different matter. You may not give a straight forward yes, you may take time to decide and even if you give it to him; you may tell him that you had difficulties managing without it; when he returns it.

The fact that you’re taking time to decide is an act of assertion through which you’re telling him that it is a big favour and hence you need time to think. The fact that you tell him that you found it difficult to manage without your car when he returns it; is again an act of assertion. You’re telling him that you faced all these difficulties in order to make him happy. Deep down; you’re preparing him to be ready to return this favour with a favour of similar quantum; as and when you need it. You see, the corruption element is there, in most cases.

I guess the difference between the love of the first mother and that of the second mother should be clear now. Though both of them may think they love their sons purely; the first mother is correct in thinking so whereas the second mother is only partly correct as there’s an element of corruption in her love.

Hence pure love is free from corruption which means it’s all heart and conscience; and there is no ego since all the conditions which benefit you in one way or another, though such conditions may be conscious or subconscious; are applied by your ego. It means as long as there are conditions attached to love; it is not pure. Let’s now look at some guidelines related to conditions; which can help you check how pure or corrupt your love for someone is.

The first rule says that more is the number of conditions attached to your love whether such conditions are conscious or subconscious; more is the percentage of corruption in your love. The second rule says that bigger are the conditions attached to your love; more corrupt is your love and this rule is even more important when it comes to decide the percentage of purity or corruption in your love. The third rule is subtle and it is more like a variation of the first and second rule combined together.

This rule works in the opposite direction and it says more is the number of conditions you impose on yourself in order to prove worthy to your lover, and bigger is the quantum of these conditions; more corrupt your love is. Yes, even if you impose conditions on yourself; this is corruption since pure love means no conditions at all. Let’s try to understand these rules with the help of relevant examples.

Starting with the first rule; since conditions for your own benefit are imposed by your ego; bigger ego means more conditions which mean more corruption and less purity. If you’re in love with a woman, say with your wife and you want to check how pure or corrupt your love is; these examples may help. When you tell her that you love it when she wears short skirts and you hate it when she wears long skirts; and you tell her this in a way that your expressions compel her to stop wearing long skirts; it is a condition.

When you tell her that she should quit smoking as it is a bad habit and you keep telling her this again and again in a forceful manner; it’s a condition. When you tell her to accompany you to a football match since your friend is bringing his girlfriend along, it’s a condition. When you start suggesting her again and again that she should lose some weight since she’s not looking as good as she used to; it’s a condition.

When you try to stop her every time she tries to eat a high calorie food since she already has extra fat or she’s fit and you don’t want her to have extra fat; it’s a condition. When you keep telling her that she must join gym with you, so that she may also stay fit like you; it’s a condition. When you tell her she must learn to dance as this art comes handy at formal parties; assuming she doesn’t dance well; it’s a condition.

When you tell her to wear an expensive dress for a formal party since it helps you impress some people who are to attend that party and they are important for you at this time; it’s a condition. When you tell her that instead of wearing the gold necklace she wants to wear for a party; she should wear a diamond necklace since it is more expensive out of the two; it’s a condition. When you tell her that she must get friendly with your boss’s wife at the party; it’s a condition. When you tell her that she must have a couple of drinks at the party in order to socialize; it’s a condition.

Looking at some bigger conditions; when you tell her to stop interacting with a guy you don’t like for any reasons though she may like him for positive reasons; it’s a condition. When you tell her that you two should have another baby since you have a son and you want a daughter; and you try to convince her again and again as she may not be interested in second child; it’s a condition. When you tell her she must discontinue her friendship with your friend’s wife since you’ve recently had a serious dispute with your friend and you two are not on talking terms now, it’s a condition.

When you tell her that she must tolerate your irritating sister or even your mother; when all they do is to trouble her again and again; it’s a condition. When you tell her that in order to raise your son well, she should quit her job since you’re earning well for the entire family; it’s a condition. When you tell her that her parents must attend your son’s birthday party, assuming they’re unable to do so for some reason of their own; it’s a condition.

Looking at some subtle conditions; when you keep telling her to discontinue her friendship with a specific female friend as that friend may keep giving her hard times and you don’t like it when she gets upset after each one of such incidents; it’s a condition. When you tell her that she must enter a professional exam as clearing it may benefit her a lot in her professional sphere; it’s a condition. When you tell her that she’s one of the most honest persons you have in your life and you can’t imagine her engaging in even a single act of dishonesty; it’s a condition. When you tell her that you’re blessed to have a wife as loyal as her as you’ve never seen her interested in any other man at all after marriage; it’s a subtle but very big condition.

Let’s now try to look into these statements and find out how and when they form conditions. It should be noted that though I’ve used the phrase, ‘when you tell’; even if you don’t tell her but you expect her to do these things; conditions are formed and your love is corrupted. This is due to the reason that ego lies inside you, which means its center lies inside you. Accordingly; if a condition is formed around its center, sooner or later; it’ll come out, consciously or subconsciously. Another fact is that until the time it comes out; it keeps disturbing you from the inside, which is an even bigger problem.

It should be noted that though the society or the laws consider an act done only when it is practically executed and not when you start planning to do it or you think of doing it for the first time; it is not so according to spiritual laws. When it comes to spiritual measures; this act is done as soon as it is committed in your mind; and its occurrence in the material world is just a formality. This is because as soon as any type of corruption rises in your mind; your mind gets polluted and this is all that matters when it comes to your spiritual growth.

For instance, if you add an acidic substance to a quantity of milk and then leave it for some time; this milk is going to be corrupted or spoiled over a period of time; where such time period depends on the quantity as well as quality of milk; quantity as well as quality of the acidic substance; conditions like temperature and on some other things. When it comes to the material rules; you can only call this milk spoiled when it is actually spoiled; say after 10 hours.

However when it comes to spiritual rules; this milk is spoiled as soon as this acidic substance or corruption is added to it. This is because the process of corruption has initiated and the end result is just a formality now; until something is done to prevent this milk from being corrupted. Accordingly; when your ego adds corruption to your mind even at the level of thoughts or feelings; your mind is corrupted. The outward expression of this corruption is just a formality now, and whether this expression comes out after a year or after a life; is immaterial.

Looking at another example; suppose you injure someone with the intention to kill him, his injuries are so severe that the doctors surrender and they say that they can’t save him; and whether he dies after an hour or a day; he is certainly going to die. Suppose this person dies after a day, which means a day after you injure him.

When it comes to the law of the land; the police can’t charge you for murder on the day you injure this person though doctors have made it clear that this person is certainly going to die. However due to their own limitations; the police can only register a case of ‘assault with intention to kill’ against you, till this person actually dies. Once he’s declared dead; the police may change this charge to that of committing murder.

This happens because the material laws have their own limitations and these limitations allow the law executing agencies to consider a crime committed; only when the effect equal to the quantum of such crime is realized in practical. Hence the charge of murder can be framed against you; only when the person you injured dies and not before that.

 
Since she wants her son to make her proud; her love is not pure and it is corrupted. Her heart generates love for her son and her ego attaches conditions to this love. It means deep down; she has love for her son and at the same time, she wants him to pay back for this love, which means she expects return from her son. Hence there are two things happening at the level of her subconscious mind; one of them is love and second is the expectation for return which is corruption as it comes through her ego. Since the mind expresses each and everything it has; both these feelings are expressed by her. As a result, the act of hugging her son may be the expression of love whereas the act of mentioning a condition is the act of corruption. Hence she’s expressing both these feelings.

Looking at the second act; she makes her son’s favourite sandwich and then she enjoys watching him eat it and feel happy. This is an expression of love. Then she tells her son that she knows it is his favourite sandwich and that is why she made it for him; it is an act of corruption, though it is a subconscious act of corruption. This is because when you assert the fact that you’re doing something for someone; it only means one of the two things deep down.

The first probability is that you’re actually not doing it and you’re only pretending to do it; though it may all be happening subconsciously; which means even you may think you’re doing it. Looking at the second probability; you do so because you want something in return and hence you’re making sure that the other person knows you’re doing something for him; so that he may feel the need to return it with a favour.

This is because as long as a favour is not asserted; most people may not realize it consciously and hence they may not do anything to return it. For example, trees gives us cleaner air but most of us do nothing to return this favour and in fact, most of us don’t even think about it much. This is because trees don’t assert this fact that they’re doing us any favour by cleaning the air for us. It is further because they don’t need anything in return and hence the need to assert this favour doesn’t arise. The trees are focused on the karma of cleaning the air and they don’t care for whether they get anything in return or not. It means that trees are also engaging in Nishkaam karma, like most other systems of nature.

Imagine what may happen if a tax is levied by the government and this tax says that the amount collected will be used only in order to maintain and grow trees so that you may keep getting clean air. In simple words; you’re being asked to return the favour done by the trees. If such is the case, this fact will be asserted well in the draft of this tax that trees are essential; they do us a big favour by cleaning the air and they offer a number of other benefits also. Hence we must pay taxes in order to grow more trees and then maintain them.

Since return is expected here, though not by the trees directly; favours done by the trees have to be asserted properly in order to claim this return. Hence if such tax is levied; people who pay it will be aware all the time; that trees are doing them favour by cleaning the air and they’re returning this favour by paying taxes. Isn’t it surprising that as long as the trees don’t ask us to return favour which means they don’t assert the fact that they’re doing us any favour and they keep doing so quietly which means naturally; a number of us may not even realize this favour.

This is because the trees don’t want anything in return and accordingly; the need to assert the fact that they’re doing such favour doesn’t rise in the first case. Though you’re consciously more aware of the favour given by them in the second case as you’re reminded about this fact whenever you have to pay this tax; your certainly respect trees more deep down in the first case; though you may not be consciously aware about this fact. This is due to the reason that in the second case; you’re returning the favour and hence it becomes a type of trade. However in the first case; the favour is one way which means you only receive this favour and you’re under no obligation to return this favour. This is what generates respect and love deep down; though you may not know it consciously.

The same happens in most other spheres and the same happens in case of love also. Purer is the love; more silent it is and accordingly; more difficult it is for an average person to even feel it. This is because your lover in this case does everything in such natural way that even she may not know she’s doing things for you; let alone the fact that you may know. Suppose you naturally feel like eating and you eat something. Do you feel like you’ve done something with effort or intention? This is what you do naturally whenever you’re hungry. So what is there to feel about this act?

It means you won’t think much before eating whenever you’re hungry and you won’t give it a thought even after eating. Just imagine how strange it’ll be if you start telling yourself, ‘Oh I felt like eating and I gave myself something to eat’? If you’ve imagined this, now imagine it doing every time you eat or drink something throughout your life. Imagine that each time you go to pass urine; you tell yourself that you felt like passing urine and you took yourself to the toilet in order to do so : )

It sounds strange and so it is. The reason is that these acts happen naturally which means they’re controlled by your subconscious mind and you don’t need to worry about them. Just like they happen naturally and you don’t need to assert the fact that you’re doing them; a person who loves someone purely, goes through the same thing. It means if your mother loves you so; she may not even notice that she’s doing anything for you and everything may just happen. When love reaches its peak expression; you don’t do things for your lover and things just happen through you.

Pure love is so strong that it possesses you like a medium and you automatically start doing, whatever it wants to get done through you. Since you’re not doing anything with effort in the deepest sense; you don’t feel like doing any favours to your lover to start with; and hence the question of asserting such favours doesn’t arise. However, once the element of corruption is added to love; assertion becomes a part of your expressions since you need favours in return for your favours or love now; and returns can only be claimed if your lover knows first that you’ve given him or her something.

How can you expect someone to return you a favour when you haven’t given them any; at least according to their knowledge? Imagine a pizza delivery guy tells you to give him money for the pizza he delivered when he hasn’t delivered any pizza or you don’t know that he has delivered this pizza. You won’t pay him this money in any one of these cases as he’s asking for something in return for something and according to your conscious knowledge; he didn’t give you that thing to start with. Hence the question of return doesn’t arise. This is why a pizza delivery guy asks for payment when he has a pizza to deliver.

Since you know he’s delivering you the pizza you ordered and you need to pay him in return; as the favours are predefined in this case; you feel comfortable returning the favour. Hence if you need something in return for an act; you have to assert the favour given by you, whether you do so through conscious or subconscious expressions. It is interesting to note that a lover of this type keeps asserting his acts of love and hence he appears to love more than the lover whose love is pure and there’s no need to assert it.

This is the biggest reason that a number of people tend to fall for lovers who can only offer corrupted love and not pure love or let’s say love which is high in purity. More is the factor of corruption, more is the factor of assertion. Hence a lover with high percentage of corruption in his love may assert his love again and again through his acts, words or other things. Accordingly, you may feel that he loves you a lot when the truth is something else and you may come to know about this truth; only after spending a significant amount of time in his company; as you may be able to realize the true nature of his love during this time.

On the other hand, if you meet a guy with high conscience, which means he’s capable of loving with high purity; you may not be able to judge the depth of his love in the beginning and you may decide to move away from him, unless you’re a spiritually grown person. This is because he won’t assert his love again and again; he won’t engage in acts of show off; he won’t make ambitious but false promises and he won’t do anything else like these. Since the acts like these ones which are the acts of ego, have become the criterion to decide the strength of love in the present times; most people may not understand how to judge pure love which rises from the conscience and which fails all these tests.

This is because if you want to judge the love rising from conscience; the measures of ego won’t be able to judge it and you’ll need to know about the measures of conscience and then use them; in order to measure the depth of the love of one such person. For instance, if you need to understand something written in a specific language; you must know that language first, in order to read and understand the piece of writing in question. Therefore, in order to judge the love rising from heart boosted by conscience; you must know the language of heart and that of conscience. We’ll discuss this topic in detail, later on.

Hence when the mother of the second type is asserting the fact that she’s made a sandwich for her son; she’s making sure he knows that she’s giving him favours so that he may feel the subconscious need to return these favours. Such assertions from time to time will eventually condition the subconscious mind of this son in a way that he may always feel indebted to his mother and no matter how much he’s able to do for her; he still feels like falling short of what may be called satisfactory.

If you’re a son; you feel indebted to your mother and you keep doing one thing or another for your mother in order to feel satisfied; you should know that your love for your mother is not pure. This is because you can either be indebted or you can be in pure love; and you simply can’t do both at the same time. Kindly understand that as long as you feel the need do something for your mother in order to feel satisfied; your love is not pure. If your love for her is pure; you won’t do things for her in order to feel satisfied; you’ll do them because you simply feel like doing them; and that’s it.

Suppose you’re at a fruit shop; mangos have just come in as the season has started; your mother likes mangos a lot and you purchase mangos for her without even a thought. You go to her, you give her the mangos and even while you’re going home and giving her the mangos; you don’t feel like you’ve done anything at all. Though you may certainly enjoy when your mother becomes happy after seeing these mangos but that’s fine. If this is what you do in general; your love is high in purity.

Now imagine another scenario in this case. When you see freshly arrived mangos; they remind you of your mother and then you visit your past when she used to bring freshly arrived mangos for you and you enjoyed them a lot. You purchase mangos for her and on the way home; you think once, twice or even more; that your mother will be happy to see these mangos. You reach home and before giving her mangos; you tell her in a relatively loud voice that you’ve brought her favourite mangos. Then you give or show her the mangos and as she appreciates you for this act; you fill with pleasure.

If this is the case more or less; your love is corrupted. Kindly pay attention that the fact that your mother purchased mangos for you encouraged you to purchase mangos for her and your love didn’t do so. Hence you’re returning a favour and it is not an act of love. Since these things happen on subconscious level; it may be the case that you may purchase the mangos first and the thought that your mother purchased them for you visits your conscious mind after that. Even that means your love is corrupted though the percentage of corruption may be less in this case.

You think about this act while going home. It means that though you’ve purchased these mangos only once in reality; you’re purchasing them again and again in your mind. Hence this is an act of assertion and as you know; assertion is the result of corruption in love. As you reach home; you tell her in a relatively loud voice that you’ve brought mangos for her, which is again an act of assertion to the fact that you are returning the favour given by her to you; many years back. As she appreciates you; you’re focused more on the appreciation and less on her happiness, which is one more sign that your love is corrupted since you’re feeling happy when she accepts that you’ve returned the favour well.

It should be noted that most of this is happening on subconscious level and neither you nor your mother may plan any of these acts and they may happen naturally, without your conscious knowledge that you’re engaging in an act of returning favour; and you keep thinking it is an act of love for your mother. You see, there are always a number of subconscious signs for everything and once you start looking for them; they start becoming visible and hence it becomes easy to understand things in their deepest sense.

As you can see, the son in the first case simply feels like buying mangos for his mother and he buys them without any thought. Even when he gives mangos to his mother; he’s concerned about her happiness and not about the appreciation generated by her. Hence for this son; his mother and her happiness is important and there is neither the need to return favours; nor the need to feel satisfied that he’s done so successfully. This act is simple; he felt like buying mangos for his mother; he bought them and that’s it. This is like you felt like eating, you ate and that’s it. This is how natural love is.

The son in the second case is however, concerned about himself most of the time and that is what changes the nature of his love. Kindly understand that as soon as the need to return a favour is born; love goes away and trade comes in. This is because for a favour to be returned; there should be two parties; the first one which does a favour and the second one which returns that favour. It’s like you and the pizza delivering guy are two parties and not one party; when you’re exchanging favours which means you’re giving him money in exchange for pizza.

Hence the moment the need to return a favour done by your mother is born; you and your mother become two and you don’t remain one. As soon as you become two; the primary condition of love is violated as this condition says there is only one; and that one is your lover. It means when you’re in pure love; it’s all about your lover and it’s never about you; just like in case of the first type of son; as it’s all about his mother and it’s not about him at all.

This is because for harmony to be there; only one is allowed as two means disturbance. You may remember that your inner harmony is reached when your conscious and subconscious mind perfectly agree with each other in a situation; and they don’t differ at all. When it happens, they become one and as a result; you may be able to enjoy at your best or deliver your best according to the need of the situation. It is this harmony which results in absolute concentration and it is this harmony that all the saints witness all the time.

In fact, spiritual journey of a soul is the journey to achieve this perfect harmony between conscious and subconscious mind; on permanent basis. Hence when you’re able to live a moment with 100% inner harmony which means with 100% focus, if you’re ever able to do that; you should know that the kind of joy you feel during that moment is what a saint experiences all the time. This is because such harmony visits you coincidently for a few moments in your entire life whereas the saint has learnt the art to experience this harmony forever. Just imagine the height of your joy during one such moment and then imagine a saint living in the same joy forever. This is why spiritual growth is of supreme value and nothing compares to it.

Coming back to the example, since you feel the need to return a favour; you’re engaging in this act to free yourself from the debt and not for love. Hence you’re primary in this case since doing so will help you feel good and the happiness of your mother is secondary. The fact that you recreate this act of buying mangos in your imagination on your way back home; tells that you’re trying to increase the quantum of this act by asserting it again and again. It means you’ve bought mangos once in reality; but you’ll feel the satisfaction like you’ve bought them three to four times; depending on how many times you recreate this act.

The fact that you speak out relatively loud that you’ve purchased mangos for her and the fact that you focus more on the appreciation which is the credit clearance note in this case; than on her happiness indicate that you’re primary and she’s secondary. Imagine you’re making payment for something and the receiver gives you the receipt. Will you keep looking at the receiver or will you look at your receipt? This is what is happening in this case also; and this son is more interested in his receipt than the receiver, a perfect sign of trade. You see, how complex is the thing called human mind as we do a thing for one reason and we think we’re doing it for another reason : )

 
Let’s now look at two different ways through which a mother may express her love for her son and let’s see how these two different types of expressions change everything. Let’s consider two mothers who think they love their sons purely and let’s find out whether or not it is so in reality. The first mother expresses her love for her son many times a day but this expression comes naturally and it is not accompanied by anything which conveys that she needs some type of return for this love in the present or in the future.

For instance, she may hug her son many times a day and tell him that she loves him and that’s it. She finds her son enjoying the sandwich which she just made for him and her entire body may start expressing that she loves her son; though she may not say it through words in this case. She finds him suffering from fever; she tries to stay awake the entire night so that she’s there whenever her son needs her and she doesn’t even bother telling him in the morning that she kept awake for him throughout the night.

She finds him badly in need of money when he’s about 30 years old; she gives him the money she has and she doesn’t even bother telling him that she saved this money slowly and with effort over a period of 20 years. Similarly; she may do a number of other things for her son and she may never feel the need to make him consciously aware that she’s doing so much for him. This is because when love is pure; it alone is sufficient and it doesn’t need reciprocation from the other end, which means it doesn’t want anything in return; even if that thing is love.

Even in this day and age; it is not difficult to find such mothers who do this type of things for their children and that is why almost no relationship of love can be compared to the love of a mother for her children. The best thing is that a mother of this type doesn’t even have to think once in order to do something for her children and it all happens naturally; according to the demand of the situation. For instance, when this mother comes to know that her son is in real need of money; she may offer her the money she has; even before she is able to think whether or not she should do so.

This is because this love is pure; it lies deep within her and hence all the decisions related to her son are coming from deep within her. Since conscious thought process is the job of the conscious mind and the conscious mind is not engaged in this equation of love at all; everything is done on subconscious level. As you know; whatever happens through subconscious mind happens naturally and one such act is not controlled by conscious mind.

Let’s now look at the mother of the second type who thinks she loves her son purely but she’s mistaken in reality; as her love has corruption in it; even if such corruption is not high in percentage. It should be noted that even when a mother’s love is corrupted; it may still be high in purity and rarely may you come across a mother whose love has more corruption than purity. This means that even in case of second type of mothers; the purity factor may still be higher than 50% and the corruption factor may still be less than 50%.

Let’s now look into the case of second type of mothers. A mother of this type may also express her love for her son a number of times; but these expressions are corrupted in most cases and this is what indicates her love is not pure. As a rule; more is the number of such acts of corrupted expressions of love; higher is the percentage of corruption in her love. Let’s look at the same examples which were considered for the first type of mother, and see how she may express her love in all those situations; so that an obvious contrast may be observed, in order to understand this concept in a better manner.

She hugs her son with love, she says she loves him and then she adds that she knows he’ll make her proud one day. She watches her son enjoying the sandwich and she tells him that she knows this sandwich is his favourite one and that is why she’s made it for him. She keeps awake for her son, throughout the night and the next morning; she tells him that she was on vigil for the entire night in order to make sure that she’s there for him in case he needs her. She may give her son the money she saved over 20 years, though she may need thought and effort in order to do so since parting with money saved over a period of 20 years is difficult for most people.

However, she may mention this fact to him consciously and clearly that she’s saved this money with great difficulty over a period of twenty years but she’s still willing to give it to him. She may also add that he’s the only one for whom she can think of parting with this money and she may not do it for anyone else. Though in all the cases, this mother has also done the same things like the mother of the first type; there’s a significant difference between the percentage purity of the love they have for their respective sons.

The love of the first type of mother is expressed in each one of these situations in a way that the expression of love itself is sufficient and whether or not the son knows about this expression; doesn’t matter at all. This is because deep down; she has pure love for her son; this love doesn’t need anything in return and hence whether the son knows it or not; doesn’t matter at all. This is why all she cares for is to express love in the most natural way and she’s not interested in any types of returns. Hence this mother is focused on the act of love and she’s not focused on the result of this act. It means she’s engaging in Nishkaam karma, as already explained in an earlier part of this book.

When it comes to mother of the second type; love alone is not there and there are expectations attached to her love for her son. These expectations are attached by her ego and though she may not know it consciously; she’s wishing for returns in future; through her son. As already explained; as long as the desire for return is there; love is not pure and it is corrupted. Pure love only means to love and it doesn’t attach any condition, even if such condition is nothing else but to be loved in return. As soon as any condition for return is attached; it adds corruption to love. An interesting thing is that people who attach conditions usually don’t get pure love in return whereas the people who don’t attach conditions may get purer love in return.

Looking at her expressions; she hugs her son and she says she knows he’ll make her proud one day. An expectation for return is obviously there since she’s wishing for her son to return this love by making her proud one day. It should be noted that if this son turns out to be a criminal or a bad person; this mother will suffer a lot because things have turned out in a way which is the exact opposite of what she wanted. Though a mother of the first type may also suffer if her son turns a criminal; the reasons behind their sufferings are different and that is what changes everything.

The first type of mother may suffer for the wellbeing of her son and she may not be concerned at all about herself. It means if she has to visit a police station when her son is locked up for a crime and she’s called by the police to complete certain formalities; she may suffer because her son has been locked up and not because she has to face humility on account of being the mother of a criminal. No, she may still love her son the same and she may not even think of telling her son that she’s facing humiliation or insult because of him.

On the other hand, the mother of the second type suffers; primarily because his son has let her down though she may still have concerns for her son also. Hence when this mother visits a police station; she may feel insulted by being the mother of a criminal and she may even tell this to her son that he should not engage in such acts which bring insult to her or to the entire family.

The difference is again obvious. The first type of mother may tell her son to stop engaging in such acts because she’s worried about his wellbeing. On the other hand, the second type of mother may tell her son to stop engaging in crimes; primarily because they bring bad reputation to her or to the entire family. Hence the son is more important for the mother of the first type whereas her own self is more important for the mother of the second type. It doesn’t mean this mother doesn’t love her son; it only means she loves herself more than her son whereas the mother of the first type loves her son more than herself.

This will always happen in case of pure love. You simply can’t control this type of love and you’ll always end up loving your lover more than you love yourself. This is another simple rule which can be used to check whether your love is pure or not. If you put your lover before you in most situations; the chances are high that your love is pure. However, if you put yourself before your lover in a number of situations and you’re willing to take only calculated losses for your lover; your love is corrupted. If your love belongs to the second category, there is yet another rule which can help you check the percentage of purity as well as that of corruption in your love.

More is the quantum of risk you’re willing to take for your lover; higher is the percentage of purity in your love. On the other hand, less is the quantum of risk you’re willing to take for your lover; less is the percentage of purity in your love. For instance, if a mother hates being insulted but she still goes to the police station; she gets humiliated and she doesn’t even complain to her son; her love is high in purity.

If a mother hates being insulted but she still goes to the police station; she gets insulted and she tells her son that she has suffered insult because of him; this love is less in purity; though the percentage of purity in it may still be higher than that of corruption. Looking at one more case; if a mother hates being insulted and she refuses to go to the police station as she fears insult; though she may send another relative to sort the situation out; her love is even less in purity and the corruption factor is even higher in this case.

Coming back to the mother of the second type; when she tells her son that he’ll make her proud one day; neither may she say it consciously nor the son may notice it consciously. However, her subconscious mind has made her say these words intentionally and the subconscious mind of her son will record these words. As she keeps repeating such words from time to time; her son feels a subconscious need to make her mom feel proud. He may never pay much conscious attention to her words but through repetition; her desire will be recorded on his subconscious mind.

In easy language; this mother is trying to condition her son to make her proud in future; though she may be doing it subconsciously which means even she may not be aware that she’s conditioning her son and she may simply feel she’s wishing him good things for future. Whether this conditioning affects her son positively or negatively is not the scope of this discussion.

 
However, if you as a warrior know that the other warrior has a reputation to accept defeat or to surrender when he starts losing; or you observe this fact before the beginning of one such fight, through his expressions; it gives you more courage. This is because deep down; you know he’s not willing to go all the way and hence it becomes easier to win over him. It should be noted that every argument and each war is fought more within the minds than in the open. The one who wins a war or an argument on psychological level; has high chances of winning it on physical level also.

Hence the wife may realize in the second case that you two are not willing to go all the way and this may increase the intensity of her desire to win as she senses an easy victory in this case. As you can understand; you as well as your daughter may surrender and your wife may win this time. The same happens in case of your heart’s wish to have ice cream for the third time. Since it has already enjoyed ice cream twice, the desire to enjoy it may not be as strong as it was during the first and second time. This desire may be very strong the first time, strong the second time and it may have normal strength this time.

Apart from the fact that your heart has enjoyed ice cream twice, there is another factor which affects the intensity of its desire to have it once again. This factor is the disturbance which it has felt due to the war between your conscious and subconscious mind; from the moment it asked for ice cream the second time; till the moment you ate it all. It means from beginning till the end, your heart was affected by the disturbance being caused due to conflict between these two minds of yours. When it asked for ice cream for the second time; there was no conflict in the background since your conscious and subconscious mind both allowed it to have it for the first time.

It means when it wished for ice cream for the second time; it had a recent history of peace and enjoyment, and hence it didn’t bother much when asking for more ice cream. However, when it comes to the third time; your heart has recently witnessed strong conflict between your subconscious and conscious mind. It was disturbed due to this conflict and at the same time; it was not able to enjoy ice cream properly, the second time. Hence when it comes to ask for ice cream for the third time; your heart already anticipates even more disturbance this time and it may feel it won’t be able to enjoy much.

As a result, a relatively weak demand is forwarded by your heart to your subconscious mind which feels less pressurized this time since it finds that the heart is relatively relaxed and it may settle with or without more ice cream. When your subconscious mind discusses this proposal with your conscious mind, the latter may become even more offensive this time; due to the already explained two reasons. The first reason is that it has recently lost a battle and it doesn’t want to lose again whereas the second and the stronger reason is that your conscious mind finds that neither your heart nor your subconscious mind is willing to go all the way this time.

This is what may encourage your conscious mind to become even more offensive since it senses a victory this time. Hence this matter may be settled in favour of your conscious mind this time as your heart and subconscious mind may surrender due to the already mentioned reasons. Even during the third time; your act of not having ice cream is not natural as you want to have it but you’re using conscious effort to suppress this desire.

Hence minimum conscious effort is required in the first case since there is no conflict at all; maximum effort is required in the second case since there is a strong conflict this time; and reasonable effort is required in the third case since there is a conflict but it is not as strong as in the second case. Accordingly; your heart may enjoy ice cream the most in the first case as it is free to use most of the available energy to enjoy this act, it may enjoy much less in the second case and it may not enjoy ice cream at all in the third case, since there is no ice cream to start with in this case.

As you may remember, we’re discussing the third probability of interaction between your conscious and subconscious mind; and this probability turns out to be unnatural as represented by the second and third case, in the example of wishing for ice cream.

Looking at the fourth probability; your conscious mind may want to do something and it may discuss the same with your subconscious mind but the latter may disapprove. Once again, a conflict may arise between the two of them and whatever the consequence may be; you may end up engaging in an act with conscious effort, which means even this option may not lead to a natural act.

For example, you’re at the same formal dinner and a lady asks you for a dance. Deep down, which means at the level of subconscious mind; you hate dancing and hence you simply want to say no to her. This wish to say no is the wish of your heart and it is being represented by your subconscious mind. Hence this proposal to dance comes first to your conscious mind through this lady and then your conscious mind forwards it to your subconscious mind which listens to your heart and says no to this offer.

This message of no is conveyed to your conscious mind in the form of an inner feeling of dislike for dance. Hence you may consciously feel an urge to refuse this offer. However, your conscious mind knows that refusing to dance with a lady at a formal dinner like this is against the social norms and hence you should accept this offer; as refusing this proposal may spoil your social image. Here again, your conscious mind is being helped by your corrupted intellect which is supplying it with cons and pros of this situation, based on certain specific calculations of profit and loss.

A conflict may rise as a result since your conscious and subconscious mind have differences of opinions again. Whether your conscious mind wins or your subconscious mind wins is dependent on the same three factors. For instance, if this lady is just a random lady; your conscious mind may not be willing to engage in an all-out battle and hence your subconscious mind may win.

However, if the situation changes and this lady happens to be the wife of your boss, the scenario may change altogether. Since refusing her directly or indirectly may result in loss and your conscious mind knows this fact well; it may prepare for an all-out war with your subconscious mind in this case, since your ego is at stake. As you can understand; the intensity of desire of your conscious mind is likely to be much higher than that of the desire of your subconscious mind to avoid this dance. Hence your conscious mind is likely to win this battle as your subconscious mind may surrender soon; knowing that your conscious mind is prepared to go all the way.

Hence your conscious mind may win, you may dance with your boss’s wife and all your conscious expressions may be saying that you love to dance with her. This is because your intellect corrupted by your ego knows that if she’s pleased, you may benefit whereas if she’s offended, you may face problems. Hence you consciously try to give out good expressions while dancing with her. However when observed carefully, some subconscious signs may be found through your body language and these expressions say that you hate this dance.

This is again an unnatural act as you don’t want to dance deep down but you’re still dancing. This act again needs conscious effort as all this time, your subconscious mind may keep complaining against this act and your conscious mind may need effort to control it. It means your conscious mind is divided between paying attention to this dance and the war which it is fighting with your subconscious mind; within you.

Coming to the fifth and last probability; your conscious mind may want to do something and your subconscious mind may agree. In this case, there is harmony once again and hence there may not be much conscious effort required for this act. Suppose you’re at the same dinner, you love playing cards and your boss invites you to join him and play cards. This is a conscious proposal since someone has invited you to play cards and you’ve not gone to someone to do the same.

It means if you see some people playing cards; you feel like joining them and you go to them; the proposal to play cards rises from your subconscious mind in this case, since no agency from outside is offering this proposal to you.

Back to the example, you may happily join your boss for playing cards and this act is natural since there is harmony inside. It should be noted that your conscious mind is acting on the proposal of your boss and hence it may be interested in joining this game to please your boss in this case. However, your subconscious mind may only be interested in playing cards and whether this act pleases your boss or not may not matter to it. Looking at this act from another angle; your heart, your intellect and your ego; they all want to do it, for their own reasons.

Let’s now go back and check the purity of your love. As already mentioned, when you’re in love with someone say with a woman, the more you feel the need to assert your love through words, acts or gestures, the less pure is your love and the more is the percentage of corruption in your love. On the other hand, the less you feel the need to express your love through assertive words, acts or gestures; the purer is your love and the less is the percentage of corruption in your love.

There are some points which should be understood well in this context. The first is the fact that you should at least have some quantum of love in order to qualify for this consideration. It means if you don’t love a woman at all beyond her body and you don’t even bother to show love; this is not pure love and instead, you’re being purely unconcerned. For instance, you’re a rich man; you like a woman for her physical beauty; you tell this fact to her straight away that you wish to marry her for her physical beauty only and you’re willing to offer your money at her disposal.

If the woman also agrees to your proposal and you two get married, this rule doesn’t apply in this case. This is because you’re only interested in her body; she’s only interested in your money and hence; none of you may try to show love for the other as you were honest with each other, right from the start. Hence there is no need to express love in this case, since it is not there and you’re consciously aware of this fact.

It means you’re not in love; you know it consciously and you’re fine with it. Since your subconscious mind and your conscious mind are in harmony in this case, there are no issues and your acts are natural. Your subconscious mind doesn’t have love for this woman and your conscious mind is fine with this fact, which means there is no problem in this case; though there is no love also.

The second point is that the phrase ‘the need to assert your love’ needs proper attention before moving ahead with this concept. This phrase means that expressing your love naturally, even 100 times a day is absolutely fine and there is no need to worry in that case. However, as soon as you express your love under some type of compulsion, condition, greed or fear; this is not a natural expression of love. This difference should be understood properly since it is an important factor which separates pure love from corrupted love.

Pure love will always express itself naturally whereas corrupted love will be accompanied by compulsions or conditions. It means that in the second case, you need to make sure that certain conditions are met by your lover and hence these conditions are mentioned through your expressions of love; either consciously or subconsciously.

In the first case, the expression of love will be pure since you have nothing except love deep down, for this woman. However in the second case, the expression of love will be assertive and it will try to bind your lover with some conditions; though these conditions may be subconscious and they may be very fine. It means neither you nor your lover may be able to notice these conditions on conscious level. However, your subconscious mind as well as her subconscious mind understands these conditions and this is what matters the most.

Let’s now try to understand it with the help of an example. Since pure love or love which has high percentage of purity is difficult to observe these days; let’s stick to the relationship which still has the ability to have this type of love. Suppose a mother loves her son purely or the purity is as high as 90% if not 100%. If such is the case, she keeps doing each and everything which comforts her son and which she can do; but she doesn’t feel the need to tell him that she’s doing so much for him. In fact, this mere thought may look strange to her because if her love is such; she may never feel the need to express this fact to her son.

A mother does so much for her son. If her love is high in purity; two things will accompany her acts. The first thing is that she’ll naturally engage in the acts which comfort her son and she may not have to think even once, which means there is no conscious effort. The second thing is that she may never feel the need to tell her son that she’s doing so much for her, which means she only wants to love and she doesn’t want to claim this love on conscious level.

In simple words; she doesn’t feel the need to make her son aware of the fact that she loves her and that is why she does so much for her; because all she’s interested in is love and she’s not interested in any reward in exchange for this love. This is because her karma which means her love for her son serves as a reward for her and she doesn’t want anything else. It means she’s focused on the karma of love and she’s not focused on the result of this karma.

This topic needs proper understanding since we’re walking a very fine line here and the chances of interpreting it in a wrong way are high. Kindly note that even a mother who loves her son like this; may tell him hundred times a day that she loves him and she may still have pure love for him. As already mentioned; it is not an expression of love which says it is corrupted; it is a forced expression of love which says the love is corrupted. A natural expression of love is the one which happens without any expectation in return. On the other hand, a forced expression of love happens when your primary objective is to gain some type of advantage in return for this expression; though it may all happen subconsciously and you may not know it consciously.

 
Suppose you have a wife and a daughter. Suppose you all to go to a restaurant which offers buffet as a meal as well as dishes from a la carte menu.

Suppose your daughter wants to go for the buffet, which is valid only for the next one hour, which means the buffet finishes in an hour and she can only enjoy it for an hour at the most. Suppose your wife opposes the decision of your daughter for some reason of her own and she asks her to order from the menu instead. Your daughter looks at you for help; and suppose you decide to help her out with what she wants.

As a result, you try to convince your wife that she should allow your daughter to have the buffet if she wants; but your wife stands firm on her opinion. You also take a stand in favour of your daughter and a situation of conflict is created where you two engage in an argument. Your daughter is the witness to this argument and at the same time; she’s hoping that you win so that she may enjoy this buffet. You represent the subconscious mind in this case, your wife represents the conscious mind and your daughter represents the heart. The amount of time available for your daughter to enjoy this buffet represents the net available energy; and this time is 1 hour from the moment it all starts happening.

When it comes to this argument; there are two factors which decide the chances of your victory over your wife, in favour of your daughter. The first factor is which one of you dominates the other one in general, which means which one of you has a more dominating personality in general. The second factor is how far you are willing to go in order to win this argument in favour of your daughter. Suppose you have a personality which is stronger than your wife’s, and hence you’re able to win in most situations when you really want to do so. Your wife on the other hand, also has a strong personality and she’s capable of putting up a strong fight; even if she’s not capable of winning in most cases.

The argument starts and suppose in a matter of five minutes; things heat up and none of you is willing to withdraw. Though you’re certainly able to win in the end; the cost you may pay for this victory may also be bothering you after these five minutes. It means at the beginning of this argument; you did not imagine that your wife could be willing to go all the way in order to stick to her viewpoint and you thought she’d surrender easily.

However after five minutes, you realize that though you may win; the prize you pay for this victory may be high or very high. It means you realize that this argument may turn into a dispute between your wife and you; and this dispute may disrupt the harmony in family; at least for the coming few days. This is the time when the second factor of how deeply you want to win this argument comes into the picture. It means though you can win; you now have to consider whether or not you want to pay so much cost for this victory; which is to be won in favour of your daughter.

You realize at this point that if you keep trying to win this argument, you may win it but your wife may get offended whereas if you choose to surrender as the cost for this victory may be high according to you, you may end up disappointing or even offending your daughter. It should be noted that though being a stronger type of personality; you have the ability to decide this argument in any direction if you want; you may still get confused as to which direction you should choose to go now.

This is how your subconscious mind is stuck in such cases. Though it may have the ability to win over your conscious mind in a number of situations and it may even engage in wars against your conscious mind in a number of such situations; it may soon feel trapped just like you in the present case; and it may choose to surrender. When it does so, it doesn’t mean it is not capable of winning over your conscious mind in one such case and it simply means it doesn’t want to pay the cost for this victory.

The same may happen in case of your conscious mind also, which means though it may be capable of winning over your subconscious mind in a number of cases; it may choose to surrender in order to avoid disturbing the inner harmony. It should be noted that though your conscious and subconscious mind may engage in conflicts with each other every now and then; they don’t have any conflict of their own and they engage in such conflicts on behalf of your body, heart, intellect, ego and conscience from time to time. Under ideal conditions, all they want is to be in harmony with each other. We’ll discuss this topic in detail, later on.

It is like in the present example, your relationship with your wife is good otherwise and you’re engaging in conflict with her at this time; on behalf of your daughter. It means you don’t have any direct conflict of your own with her and she doesn’t have any direct conflict of her own with you. Back to the example, suppose you take a couple of moments to decide the course of your next action and then you finally decide in favour of your daughter. It means you choose to continue engaging in this argument and you decide to pay whatever it takes; in order to fulfil the wish of your daughter. Suppose after another five minutes; you’re able to dominate your wife and as a result, your daughter receives permission to have the buffet; which is what she wants.

Kindly note that by this time; 10 minutes have already been wasted. Hence your daughter can enjoy this buffet; only for 50 minutes instead of being able to enjoy it for 60 minutes. Another thing worthy of being noted is that though she may have her buffet; a part of her mind may still be distracted by the arguments which may still be going on between you and your wife; as she has not surrendered yet. Hence your daughter is able to enjoy for less time as well as with less quantum, due to the conflict of opinions between you and your wife.

Comparing this buffet to the case when you have ice cream for the first time at the formal dinner; it happens when you two are in harmony. This means your daughter expresses her wish to have buffet; you as well as your wife agree to it at once; and she is able to enjoy her meal for entire 60 minutes and that too without any disturbance, since both of you support her wish. This is what happens inside you also; and a number of entities keep interacting with one another; positively or negatively; for almost each and everything you do.

Let’s now get back to the three factors which affect the distribution of energy in case of conflict between your heart, conscious mind and subconscious mind. Since relevance is the first factor, the other two factors come into play only after this. Relating it to the present example, your daughter may have this buffet only if you win the argument and you can win the argument only if you’re stronger than your wife and you wish to pay any price for this victory, if needed. Hence the factor of relevance comes first and the factor of how deeply your subconscious mind wants to win the case of ice cream for your heart comes second.

It means even if it is capable of winning this case for you; it may or may not choose to go all the way, at the cost of offending your conscious mind. Hence the factor of desire to win comes second and only after that; the third factor called strength comes to play. Since your subconscious mind may choose to surrender to your conscious mind even if the former is capable of winning; the factor of desire to win is more important that the factor of strength.

As you eat this second portion of ice cream; you’re not able to enjoy it like you did in the first case due to a conflict between your subconscious and conscious mind, which causes disturbance within you and which also reduces the amount of energy available for your heart to enjoy this act. That is why you needed no effort to enjoy your ice cream in the first case since your subconscious and conscious mind were in harmony and they favoured the wish of your heart.

Let’s go one step further and assume that after this second portion is finished; your heart still wants to have one more portion of ice cream and this proposal is forwarded to your conscious mind through your subconscious mind. The equation may change once again due to change in the variable called the intensity of desire to have another portion of ice cream. Let’s draw a parallel comparison and let’s assume that after finishing the buffet; your daughter wants to have another item which was not featured in the buffet but which is available on the menu.

Suppose you again support her decision and your wife again opposes it completely. It should be noted that the situation is not the same here and the intensity of desire to engage in your relevant acts may change this time. For instance, though your daughter may want this item, she may not want it with the same intensity. It means she may not be willing to go through all the trouble like in the first case, in order to have this item and she may be willing to have it only if you and your wife are in harmony.

Another point worthy of being noted is that she’s already satisfied to a great extent by having this buffet and hence; her desire to have this item may be much weaker in quantum; compared to her desire to have buffet, which was strong. Hence when she looked at you for help in case of buffet; her eyes and body language requested you to do whatever it takes to fulfil her desire, and those expressions encouraged you to go all the way.

However this time, you notice that her expressions are not intense, which means she’s not that much interested in this item. It relaxes you since the pressure put by your daughter on you is much less in this case. Kindly note that this pressure is an important factor which influences your decision as to how far you may be willing to go in an argument with your wife; if the situation so demands. Hence more intense is her wish; more pressure is put on you and accordingly; more may be your desire to go to any lengths; in order to win this argument in her favour. Since the pressure is less from her side in this case; your desire to pay high price for an argument may also be less intense.

However, there’s another factor which influences this desire though in a negative way and here it is. Since you love your wife also; the intensity of her desire to engage in a serious argument over this issue also affects your desire to engage in this argument, in a negative way. It means more interested you find her in going all the way; less you may want to go all the way; since you know doing so may come at a high price.

However, when you find her relatively relaxed which means though she offers resistance but you notice that she’s really not willing to go all the way; it gives boost to your desire to argue. If such is the case, your daughter’s intense desire to have buffet is giving boost to your desire to argue with your wife and your wife’s relatively relaxed expressions are further motivating you to engage in an argument since you feel that you’ll win this argument relatively easily.

The situation may be exactly the opposite in the present case and that is why you may not even think of engaging in an argument. This happens because the pressure put by your daughter is not much in this case and hence the first factor works against your desire to argue with your wife. On the other hand, your wife may have ‘do or die’ type of looks on her face this time as she has recently lost an argument and she may not be prepared to lose another.

Hence her even stronger desire to engage in an argument may also work against your desire to engage in an argument and as a result, you may choose not to engage in an argument this time. In the first case; both or at least one factor affecting your desire to argue was promoting this desire. One factor in this context means that your daughter was completely resolved to have this buffet and hence she put a lot of pressure on you to argue for her. If your wife was relatively relaxed; both the factors worked in your favour and if she’s not; even then one factor promoted your desire to argue and win.

However, in the second case; both these factors are working against your desire to argue with your wife. Hence you’re more likely to request your wife this time and you’re not likely to engage in an argument. Only if your wife agrees easily, you as well as your daughter may be willing to go ahead with your daughter’s choice or you may both surrender otherwise. An interesting thing is that your wife might also have noted that in the first case; the intensity of your daughter’s desire to have this buffet was high and the intensity of your desire to win the argument was also high.

Both these factors subconsciously reduced the intensity of her desire to go to any lengths in order to win this argument; though she did not realize it consciously. However in the second case, she may realize that neither your daughter’s desire nor your desire is much intense and hence it may promote the intensity of her desire on subconscious level; though she may not know it consciously. It means in the first case; she may realize deep down that none of you is going to surrender and that weakens her subconsciously. However in the second case, she knows deep down that both of you are willing to surrender and this fact gives her more strength.

This is because when you know your competitor or enemy is willing to go all the way and he’s neither willing to accept defeat nor he’s going to surrender; you may choose to fight this enemy only when it is unavoidable, given the fact that there’s not much difference between your strengths, though you may be a little stronger in general. This is because you know he’s prepared to kill or die and he’s not going to settle. This is a high stake battle and most people will choose to avoid it; and wisely so.

This is why two warriors who are brave enough to kill or die in any situation; usually respect each other and at the same time; they don’t want to face each other as long as the same is avoidable. Deep down they know that if one such battle happens; one of them may die and the other one may almost die since the quantum of injuries sustained by the winner may be high. Since it is a high stake battle; even brave warriors may avoid it as long as they can; unless they wish to kill or die for any reasons, beyond the scope of this discussion.

 
However in the second case; the same amount of available energy has been divided into three parts. The first part is being consumed by your conscious mind to oppose this action, the second part is being consumed by your subconscious mind to fight and win over your conscious mind and the third part is being consumed by your heart to enjoy ice cream. Since the act of war between your conscious and subconscious mind is the primary act which decides whether or not you may have this ice cream; this act takes as much energy as is required. This is because if your subconscious mind loses this battle; you won’t be able to have this ice cream, and hence it has to win this battle; no matter how much energy is consumed in doing so.

Let’s simplify this equation by using numbers, so that it may be understood easily. The concept of how different entities within you may use different amounts of energy depending on their abilities and needs; has already been explained in an earlier part of this book. Suppose at this time; there are 100 units of extra energy available, which means it is the energy available after taking care of other activities happening at this time; like eating, digesting and breathing.

In the first case, all these 100 units may be used by your heart since there is harmony between your conscious and subconscious mind; and they both agree to let this energy go to your heart. As a result, all this energy is consumed by your heart, and hence you’re able to enjoy your ice cream, in the best possible way.

However in the second case, things are a lot different since there is a division of energy. Though there may be a number of combinations of division of this energy; depending on a number of variables; we’ll choose to go with a particular combination on random basis. Suppose your conscious mind consumes as much as 40 units of energy in opposing this decision. This leaves you with 60 units of available energy. Suppose another 42 units are consumed by your subconscious mind in order to fight your conscious mind over this issue and keep it under control.

It means that your heart may only avail 18 units of energy at the most, in this case. Since the amount of energy available to your heart has reduced about 5 times, plus there’s a war going on within you and this war also distracts you; you may not enjoy your ice cream much in this case. It should be noted that each one of your heart, your subconscious mind and your conscious mind may be capable of consuming 100 units of energy or even more, on their own. It means if there’s no conflict; each one of them is capable of using 100 units of energy or more.

However, since there are only 100 units of energy and all three of them want this energy for their own reasons; the amount of energy each one of them may be able to draw out of these 100 units depends on their relative strengths; on how badly they want this energy and on the relevance of the acts they’re engaging in. Before looking into these three factors; it should be noted that your conscious mind is using your intellect corrupted by your ego in this case, in order to do what it wants, and hence the amount of energy drawn by your conscious mind goes to your corrupted intellect.

Similarly, the amount of energy drawn by your subconscious mind is partly used in fighting your conscious mind or intellect and it is partly used to be forwarded to your heart, which is the remaining amount of energy. It should also be noted that in any given situation, only your conscious mind and subconscious mind have the ability to draw energy directly from your existence; and all other entities like heart, intellect, ego and conscience get this energy through one of these minds; depending on the situation.

For instance, in the present situation; your heart can get energy through subconscious mind; as it is the one which supports its wish whereas your corrupted intellect can get energy through your conscious mind; since it is the one which supports its wish. This equation may change and there may be times when your subconscious mind may support your intellect and your conscious mind may support your heart.

Let’s now look into the factors which decide the distribution of energy in this case. The factor which comes first in this case is the relevance factor. Kindly understand that there are two acts which are about to happen inside you when you’re trying to have ice cream for the second time. The first act is that of war between your conscious and subconscious mind; and the second act is the act of enjoying ice cream. Looking at which one of them is more relevant; it is easy to understand that the second act is dependent on the outcome of the first act and hence the first act is more important or relevant than the first act.

This is due to the reason that as long as your subconscious mind is not able to win over or suppress your conscious mind related to this issue; you may not have this ice cream to start with. As long as this war is taking place inside you; you’re waiting for the result; feeling all nervous and confused. It is only when your subconscious mind wins that you go ahead and ask for another portion of ice cream. If your conscious mind wins this battle for any reasons; you may simply not ask for a second portion of ice cream. Hence the first act is more relevant and accordingly; as much energy will be consumed by the entities engaging in this act; as much is required; of course out of the total available energy of 100 units.

It means that for the time being, your heart is out of the picture since all it can do is to wait for the outcome of this war and hope that your subconscious mind wins this war or controls this war. Hence 100 units of energy are to be divided between your subconscious and conscious mind; and this is when the second factor comes to the scene. This factor deals with how deeply these two entities want this energy. In order to understand this concept in an easy way; let’s take an example from real life.