More a condition troubles her mind and longer is the period for which it troubles her; bigger is the condition. For instance, when you say she should wear diamond jewellery at a formal party when she doesn’t want to wear it; this condition is for a single event and it doesn’t repeat itself. It means as the party is over; she’s free from this condition though some resentment related to this act may be left within her.
When you tell her that she should not wear long skirts; though this act is a repetitive act since she faces the choice to wear skirts or not on regular basis; it may still not be a big condition; unless long skirts are her favourite style of dressing. This is because things which touch us from the outside which means on physical level are relatively small in quantum; whether such things are good or bad. On the other hand, things that touch us on deeper levels; are more important.
In addition to that; this condition may trouble her only when she wants to wear long skirts and not otherwise; which means when she’s home or she doesn’t want to wear long skirts anyway; this condition doesn’t bother her. However when it comes to force her to have one more child when she doesn’t want to have it; this is a very big condition because it is going to impact her throughout her life; at least on subconscious level.
This act may look like a single event; it is not. Whatever health issues she may have to face throughout her life due to this conception; whatever compromises she may have to make throughout her life due to this child and all other things which may affect her negatively; either directly or indirectly; as a result of the act of having this child, will trouble her a lot. For example, she may face health issues some of which may trouble her for long or throughout her life, due to this conception.
Moving on, all the compromises she may have to make in raising this child will make her hate you and curse you deep down; because you’re the cause of all her troubles. For example; if she has to take leave from her profession for about 2 years in order to have this child and to raise this child past the age of one year; this compromise may turn out to be a very big compromise. It may be the case that she may miss important professional opportunities during these two years and if that happens; she’s surely going to curse you a lot; and she’s going to dislike this child also; deep down.
For instance; she’s six months pregnant when she hears that the portal for her dream assignment at her job is open now and if she was able to take this assignment; this assignment would be hers. It may be an important project and she was promised that she’ll be given the opportunity; as and when one such project appears. It does appear and the company may notify her but she’s not in a condition to accept it. You are directly responsible for making her lose this dream opportunity and the child is indirectly responsible for the same; according to her mindset.
Hence she’ll hate you as well as this child since you two are responsible for causing so much pain to her. Accordingly; you’ve not only made her hate you; you’ve also made her have negative feelings for the child; even before it is born. No matter how hard she may try; she may never be able to love this child in a natural way since this child will always remind her of what she’s had to lose for her; if it’s a daughter. You see you’ve created problems much bigger than you can imagine; merely because of your ego which pushes you to control her.
It should be noted that this child is responsible only according to your wife’s mindset and she’s not responsible otherwise; because she doesn’t have any role to play in all of it. This means that this child didn’t ask your wife to have her and it is you who did so; and hence the child is innocent in reality. However, since the responsibilities are to be fixed by your wife; whoever becomes the cause of troubles for her; may be held responsible. In reality; the cause of her troubles is you as well as she; and the child is just a medium.
The reason the wife is also responsible for this trouble is that in the end; it is her decision to have or not have this child. Even if she agreed under compulsion from her husband; it simply means there were things bigger than this that she didn’t want to lose. For instance; she might have thought that her marriage would break if she didn’t make this compromise and when she weighed the probable trouble caused by the child verses the trouble caused by a broken marriage; she might have found that the loss caused by having a child might be less than the loss caused by a broken marriage.
Hence she might have chosen the thing which seemed less troublesome at that time. It means that deep down; she’s also dealing in profits and losses. Since she’s taken a calculated risk though under compulsion; she’s also responsible in part though not as much as her husband is. It should be noted that she always has the choice to refuse to do what she doesn’t want to do and the reason she still accepts this proposal is because of fear of loss in future; if she chooses to refuse it.
It means this decision is based on the fear lying in future and it is not based on the moment in question. Another probability is that you could have done so much for her that though she doesn’t want to have this child; she agrees to have it under compulsion; in order to payback for the good done by you to her. Even in this case, the decision to have this child is based on the gratitude or debt formed in the past and this decision is not coming from the present moment. The present moment says she doesn’t want to have this child and this is the only correct decision. Hence if your wife makes this decision based on past or future; she’s also partly responsible for her troubles.
However, since most of us will never hold ourselves responsible for most things; your wife may hold you responsible directly and the child responsible indirectly. However, this is her angle and we’re more concerned about your angle since your spiritual growth deals with you and not with other people. Coming to you; these are some of the problems she may face throughout her life due to this child she doesn’t want to have and the exact scope of these problems is vast.
Do you think if you really love her; you’ll even consider putting her into so many problems in order to get what you want? It is your ego which is making her suffer; so that you may have what you want. You see, she’s indeed a thing for you; though you may not realize it consciously. To be precise; she becomes a person for you at times when your ego is not troubling you much; and she becomes a thing for you; as soon as your ego wants something through her.
This is how most of us behave; we treat people like people at times and we treat them like things at times. During the moments when we treat them like people; the love we have for them shows, and during the moments when we treat them like things; our egos corrupt our love and we engage in selfish acts; thereby treating our loved ones like things.
It should be noted that even if she’s willing to have this child; she may face all these problems or even more. However, she may not curse you or this child because she’s paying the price to fulfil her desire and not your desire; unlike in the first case. Each person is comfortable paying the prices for his/her desires from time to time; and these are the only prices he/she should pay. Making others pay for your desires and paying for other people’s desires when you don’t want to; they’re both considered negative types of acts and hence they disturb your spiritual growth.
It is easy to understand that when you make other people pay for your desires; these are the acts of ego and hence they’re bad. However, the second clause may seem difficult to understand; so let’s look into it. If you don’t want to do something deep down; but you still do it due to reasons based in past or future; you’ll end up disturbing your inner peace or harmony. Since your inner peace is the first objective for spiritual laws; you should avoid these practices.
You may not know but sooner or later; these practices will make you hate such person and in addition to that; you may lose a number of valuable years of your spiritual journey, in making those compromises when you could have made a lot of spiritual progress. This is why extreme importance is assigned to your inner peace because in the deepest sense; you simply can’t make anyone else happy at all; unless you’re peaceful deep down.
The spiritual laws know that the unwilling compromises you’re making for your loved ones will destroy your relationships sooner or later; by creating hate inside you for them and disturbance for you; when you should have peace for you and love for them. Hence by making compromises; you’re only making things worse for you as well as for the others; and you’re doing the same when you’re pushing other people to make compromises for your wishes. You may not know it consciously; but each and every compromise they make for you; is taking them away from you on subconscious level. This is why pure love lasts forever since it is free from things called conditions or compromises.
It should be noted that if your wife’s love for you is high in purity; she may not suffer much through all the things you may do to her; in order to get done what you wish. It means though she may face all these problems; she may neither bother much nor she may hate or curse you. However, that is her point of view and we’re concerned about your point of view since you’ll complete your journey and not hers. Your love is corrupted the moment you engage in one such act which troubles her; provided you’ve engaged in such act in order to gain some type of advantage for yourself. Whether she actually suffers or not doesn’t matter at all; when it comes to your spiritual growth.
According to the spiritual laws; you’ve committed the act of killing someone the moment you’ve fired a bullet with this intention and even before that as already explained. Whether this bullet kills him or he survives; matters for the laws of this world and it doesn’t matter for spiritual laws. As already explained; it is your intention behind a karma that counts and it is not the karma or the result of that karma that counts. Since you’ve fired this bullet with the intention to kill this person; you’re guilty of killing him according to spiritual laws; and that’s it.
Looking at some subtle compromises; when you tell her that she’s a loyal wife and you can’t even imagine her thinking about anyone else; you’re trying to trap her into an image; though even you may not know it consciously. Though you’re praising her consciously; what you’re conveying deep down is that she should never cheat on you and you’re using good image as a trap. It means if she cheats on you in any way; this good image of hers will be shattered. Hence you’re trying to make her stay loyal to you; by luring her into the trap of good image. Since staying loyal to you or not is her decision and not yours; you’re applying a condition on her and it means your love is corrupted.