The opinion of majority related to a habit is considered as the established truth about the nature of such habit but even majority can be wrong. Hence it is not about the nature of a habit deep down; when it comes to spiritual growth; it is about whether or not you’re peaceful inside; while having this habit. This is because in the deepest sense; you can’t be peaceful inside; if you’re doing something which is actually wrong according to spiritual laws. Hence the objective of spiritual growth is your peace alone and it doesn’t deal with other people or things.
This is because once you’re fixed from inside; you simply don’t need to learn right and wrong from other people or from outside sources. The entities deep within you will tell in each case; whether doing such thing is right or wrong. If you try to do anything which your existence finds wrong; your peace will be disturbed. Likewise; if you try to do anything and you observe obvious harmony within you; spiritual laws are telling you through your conscience that this is the right thing to do; even if the whole world is telling you that it is not. The reason your conscience is always right is that it is directly connected to the universal conscience; commonly known as God; and it takes direction from that conscience in each and every case.
It means God is telling you through your conscience that a particular thing is worthy of being done or it should be done; in one such case. When that happens; you won’t care about what other people say because when God is telling you that something is right; it is right and that is the end of discussion related to the nature of this job. This is what Nishkaam karma means in the deepest sense. Your conscience will take guidance from universal conscience and whatever this guidance tells you to do through your conscience; you do it without any thoughts.
This is why a saint says again and again that whatever he’s doing; it is the wish of God; and this is why he’s always peaceful. Kindly understand that peace or no peace is not the resultant of the good or bad nature of a karma; it is the resultant of whether or not your decision to engage in such karma was right. It means if you kill someone without valid reasons; it is not the act of killing him that disturbs your peace; it is your decision to kill him for selfish reasons; which troubles you deep down. It further means that it is your intention behind killing this person which disturbs your peace of mind if you kill this person for selfish reasons.
Since the decision to kill this person was based on greed; your intention is bad and that is why your peace is disturbed. However, if your intention or decision to kill this person is a valid one; your peace is not disturbed. Taking a look at a saint; he makes no decision to start with as all the decisions come to him through universal conscience. Since he’s not responsible for taking any decisions; he doesn’t have any intentions whether good or bad. Hence he’s always peaceful whether he does something good or bad; according to the established laws or norms of society.
Since he’s not made any decision; he simply doesn’t have the need to feel affected by their good or bad outcomes; and hence he’s free from the result of karmas; which means he’s engaging in Nishkaam karmas. Suppose the launch of a nuclear missile is set up on a computer program and whenever the authorized person presses the button; the program shoots this missile. When that happens; it is not the program which is responsible for shooting this missile though it may look so on the surface; it is the authorized person who’s responsible.
Hence the computer program doesn’t need to worry whether this act is good or bad; and this issue is to be sorted by the authorized person. It means the computer program is engaging in Nishkaam karma and hence it’s free from the results of this karma. Therefore, even if this act is wrong; the authorized person will be punished and the computer program won’t be punished since it had no gain or loss in this entire act and it was acting on the wish of the authorized person.
The saint can be considered like this computer program. He doesn’t make any decision and all decisions come through the authorized person; which is universal conscience or God. Hence he remains unaffected by the results of his karmas and his peace is never disturbed. Since universal conscience is never wrong; even the question of anything wrong happening through him doesn’t rise; though some of his acts may look wrong to some people at times. When that happens; it is not because those acts are actually wrong; it is because such people are mistaken related to the nature of those acts; primarily due to their egos.
Since the saint knows he’s being directed by universal conscience; he doesn’t bother about the opinions of people and he keeps doing such things with utmost peace; even if the whole world is against him. This is why some saints have been considered troublesome at different points in time. Whenever they do something which is in accordance with the directions received from universal conscience but which is against social norms or laws of such regions; society or law condemns them or even punishes them.
It is worthy of being noted that even if one such saint is killed by the laws of that time; he’s peaceful while dying whereas the people killing him feel guilty later on. If the law orders to kill a person who’s actually a criminal; neither the judge nor the people feel guilty for this act. However, when a saint is killed or harmed; the system as well as people starts feeling guilty after engaging in this act. It is partly due to this guilt that such saints are recognized as saints after their deaths and they’re worshipped.
This means that people following them know deep down that these saints were right and they were killed or harmed without valid reasons. The reason why one such saint happily accepts to die but not to change his ways if he’s offered a choice; is that he knows his ways are in accordance with universal conscience. Hence the question of changing them doesn’t rise; since changing them means going against the universal conscience or God.
Apart from that; he’s also able to see clearly at this stage that the laws can only kill or harm his body; and the soul remains unaffected. Hence such punishment is not punishment for him in the deepest sense and that is why he’s not bothered. All he cares for is that the peace should not be disturbed within as he knows it is the only thing that matters in reality. Hence he keeps his peace and whatever price he may have to pay in order to keep it; is no price for him; since he knows the true value of peace. We’ll discuss more on this topic; later on.
For this reason; the peace within you is the primary objective of spiritual growth since this peace alone is sufficient in guiding you what is right or wrong. It means when you grow conscience beyond a point; peace or no peace related to a decision to do something is your criterion and you simply don’t need any other criterion; like the established norms of society. It means for your conscience; it’s all about being pure or good whereas for your ego; it may be about looking pure or good.
This is why you’ll always pay attention to what people think about a particular habit or act; instead of paying attention to whether this act is good or bad in reality. As already explained; your ego feeds on the value given by other people to you and accordingly; it simply can’t make decisions based on peace within you as such peace may often lead you in a direction; opposite to that indicated by the society or people around you. Therefore, if you kill someone for reasons generated by ego; you’ll never be peaceful no matter how hard you may try. On the other hand, if you kill someone for reasons generated by conscience; you’ll always be peaceful.
After knowing these facts about subconscious and conscious guilt; let’s go back to the example where you run a chemist shop and you’re facing conscious guilt since a boy has died because of your selfishness. As a result; you may start engaging in acts of kindness in order to get rid of this guilt. As you keep doing so and by the time you get rid of the conscious guilt related to your acts of selfishness; the habit of being kind may be formed on your subconscious mind; due to repetitive acts of being kind.
This is why conscious guilt is much more helpful when it comes to get rid of a negative habit; compared to subconscious guilt related to the same habit. Since all the guilt formed due to your acts of selfishness before this act has also helped you become a better person; it did contribute in making you a good person. On the same lines; if you keep engaging in crimes which are violent in nature; subconscious guilt may keep forming until you face conscious guilt.
However, when strong conscious guilt forms due to a situation; all those occurrences of subconscious guilt may join it and this collective guilt may help you move away from the life of crime. Assuming that you need a bucketful of guilt in order to feel the need to get out of the habit which forms this type of guilt; acts of subconscious guilt are adding drops to this bucket and the act of conscious guilt directly adds a jarful of guilt to this bucket; and this jarful of guilt may be all that is required to fill this bucket.
Though the bucket is said to be filled with this jarful of guilt; in reality; each and every drop contributed in filling it. This is because the drops added by subconscious guilt built a platform for the jarful of conscious guilt to fill this bucket and without those drops of subconscious guilt; even the jarful of conscious guilt may not be able to fill it.
This is how ego is self-destructive in the deepest sense. It keeps filling you with guilt through its acts of selfishness, greed and other such acts. When this guilt reaches the level which simply can’t be tolerated by you deep within; transformation happens. Though all you may do is try to get rid of this guilt but in the process; you may get rid of that part of your ego also; which is attached to the acts which cause this type of guilt. This is the reason why some very bad people or criminals may turn very good; suddenly and unexpectedly.
These people are full of subconscious guilt and when they come across the final quantity of conscious guilt which is required to take this guilt to the levels which they simply can’t tolerate; transformation happens. Technically it means that for people with average amount of conscience; more guilt means better chances of getting rid of a negative habit or a negative personality. We’ll discuss more about this topic; later on.
Coming back to the conditions which corrupt your love for this woman; through all these conditions, you’re only trying to make her do what you like, though even you may think at times that you’re doing it for her good when that is not the case deep down. More is the number of conditions; more is the control factor in your love. Bigger are the conditions; more is the control factor or ego you have. Let’s try to understand the difference between big and small conditions.