However, if you as a warrior know that the other warrior has a reputation to accept defeat or to surrender when he starts losing; or you observe this fact before the beginning of one such fight, through his expressions; it gives you more courage. This is because deep down; you know he’s not willing to go all the way and hence it becomes easier to win over him. It should be noted that every argument and each war is fought more within the minds than in the open. The one who wins a war or an argument on psychological level; has high chances of winning it on physical level also.
Hence the wife may realize in the second case that you two are not willing to go all the way and this may increase the intensity of her desire to win as she senses an easy victory in this case. As you can understand; you as well as your daughter may surrender and your wife may win this time. The same happens in case of your heart’s wish to have ice cream for the third time. Since it has already enjoyed ice cream twice, the desire to enjoy it may not be as strong as it was during the first and second time. This desire may be very strong the first time, strong the second time and it may have normal strength this time.
Apart from the fact that your heart has enjoyed ice cream twice, there is another factor which affects the intensity of its desire to have it once again. This factor is the disturbance which it has felt due to the war between your conscious and subconscious mind; from the moment it asked for ice cream the second time; till the moment you ate it all. It means from beginning till the end, your heart was affected by the disturbance being caused due to conflict between these two minds of yours. When it asked for ice cream for the second time; there was no conflict in the background since your conscious and subconscious mind both allowed it to have it for the first time.
It means when it wished for ice cream for the second time; it had a recent history of peace and enjoyment, and hence it didn’t bother much when asking for more ice cream. However, when it comes to the third time; your heart has recently witnessed strong conflict between your subconscious and conscious mind. It was disturbed due to this conflict and at the same time; it was not able to enjoy ice cream properly, the second time. Hence when it comes to ask for ice cream for the third time; your heart already anticipates even more disturbance this time and it may feel it won’t be able to enjoy much.
As a result, a relatively weak demand is forwarded by your heart to your subconscious mind which feels less pressurized this time since it finds that the heart is relatively relaxed and it may settle with or without more ice cream. When your subconscious mind discusses this proposal with your conscious mind, the latter may become even more offensive this time; due to the already explained two reasons. The first reason is that it has recently lost a battle and it doesn’t want to lose again whereas the second and the stronger reason is that your conscious mind finds that neither your heart nor your subconscious mind is willing to go all the way this time.
This is what may encourage your conscious mind to become even more offensive since it senses a victory this time. Hence this matter may be settled in favour of your conscious mind this time as your heart and subconscious mind may surrender due to the already mentioned reasons. Even during the third time; your act of not having ice cream is not natural as you want to have it but you’re using conscious effort to suppress this desire.
Hence minimum conscious effort is required in the first case since there is no conflict at all; maximum effort is required in the second case since there is a strong conflict this time; and reasonable effort is required in the third case since there is a conflict but it is not as strong as in the second case. Accordingly; your heart may enjoy ice cream the most in the first case as it is free to use most of the available energy to enjoy this act, it may enjoy much less in the second case and it may not enjoy ice cream at all in the third case, since there is no ice cream to start with in this case.
As you may remember, we’re discussing the third probability of interaction between your conscious and subconscious mind; and this probability turns out to be unnatural as represented by the second and third case, in the example of wishing for ice cream.
Looking at the fourth probability; your conscious mind may want to do something and it may discuss the same with your subconscious mind but the latter may disapprove. Once again, a conflict may arise between the two of them and whatever the consequence may be; you may end up engaging in an act with conscious effort, which means even this option may not lead to a natural act.
For example, you’re at the same formal dinner and a lady asks you for a dance. Deep down, which means at the level of subconscious mind; you hate dancing and hence you simply want to say no to her. This wish to say no is the wish of your heart and it is being represented by your subconscious mind. Hence this proposal to dance comes first to your conscious mind through this lady and then your conscious mind forwards it to your subconscious mind which listens to your heart and says no to this offer.
This message of no is conveyed to your conscious mind in the form of an inner feeling of dislike for dance. Hence you may consciously feel an urge to refuse this offer. However, your conscious mind knows that refusing to dance with a lady at a formal dinner like this is against the social norms and hence you should accept this offer; as refusing this proposal may spoil your social image. Here again, your conscious mind is being helped by your corrupted intellect which is supplying it with cons and pros of this situation, based on certain specific calculations of profit and loss.
A conflict may rise as a result since your conscious and subconscious mind have differences of opinions again. Whether your conscious mind wins or your subconscious mind wins is dependent on the same three factors. For instance, if this lady is just a random lady; your conscious mind may not be willing to engage in an all-out battle and hence your subconscious mind may win.
However, if the situation changes and this lady happens to be the wife of your boss, the scenario may change altogether. Since refusing her directly or indirectly may result in loss and your conscious mind knows this fact well; it may prepare for an all-out war with your subconscious mind in this case, since your ego is at stake. As you can understand; the intensity of desire of your conscious mind is likely to be much higher than that of the desire of your subconscious mind to avoid this dance. Hence your conscious mind is likely to win this battle as your subconscious mind may surrender soon; knowing that your conscious mind is prepared to go all the way.
Hence your conscious mind may win, you may dance with your boss’s wife and all your conscious expressions may be saying that you love to dance with her. This is because your intellect corrupted by your ego knows that if she’s pleased, you may benefit whereas if she’s offended, you may face problems. Hence you consciously try to give out good expressions while dancing with her. However when observed carefully, some subconscious signs may be found through your body language and these expressions say that you hate this dance.
This is again an unnatural act as you don’t want to dance deep down but you’re still dancing. This act again needs conscious effort as all this time, your subconscious mind may keep complaining against this act and your conscious mind may need effort to control it. It means your conscious mind is divided between paying attention to this dance and the war which it is fighting with your subconscious mind; within you.
Coming to the fifth and last probability; your conscious mind may want to do something and your subconscious mind may agree. In this case, there is harmony once again and hence there may not be much conscious effort required for this act. Suppose you’re at the same dinner, you love playing cards and your boss invites you to join him and play cards. This is a conscious proposal since someone has invited you to play cards and you’ve not gone to someone to do the same.
It means if you see some people playing cards; you feel like joining them and you go to them; the proposal to play cards rises from your subconscious mind in this case, since no agency from outside is offering this proposal to you.
Back to the example, you may happily join your boss for playing cards and this act is natural since there is harmony inside. It should be noted that your conscious mind is acting on the proposal of your boss and hence it may be interested in joining this game to please your boss in this case. However, your subconscious mind may only be interested in playing cards and whether this act pleases your boss or not may not matter to it. Looking at this act from another angle; your heart, your intellect and your ego; they all want to do it, for their own reasons.
Let’s now go back and check the purity of your love. As already mentioned, when you’re in love with someone say with a woman, the more you feel the need to assert your love through words, acts or gestures, the less pure is your love and the more is the percentage of corruption in your love. On the other hand, the less you feel the need to express your love through assertive words, acts or gestures; the purer is your love and the less is the percentage of corruption in your love.
There are some points which should be understood well in this context. The first is the fact that you should at least have some quantum of love in order to qualify for this consideration. It means if you don’t love a woman at all beyond her body and you don’t even bother to show love; this is not pure love and instead, you’re being purely unconcerned. For instance, you’re a rich man; you like a woman for her physical beauty; you tell this fact to her straight away that you wish to marry her for her physical beauty only and you’re willing to offer your money at her disposal.
If the woman also agrees to your proposal and you two get married, this rule doesn’t apply in this case. This is because you’re only interested in her body; she’s only interested in your money and hence; none of you may try to show love for the other as you were honest with each other, right from the start. Hence there is no need to express love in this case, since it is not there and you’re consciously aware of this fact.
It means you’re not in love; you know it consciously and you’re fine with it. Since your subconscious mind and your conscious mind are in harmony in this case, there are no issues and your acts are natural. Your subconscious mind doesn’t have love for this woman and your conscious mind is fine with this fact, which means there is no problem in this case; though there is no love also.
The second point is that the phrase ‘the need to assert your love’ needs proper attention before moving ahead with this concept. This phrase means that expressing your love naturally, even 100 times a day is absolutely fine and there is no need to worry in that case. However, as soon as you express your love under some type of compulsion, condition, greed or fear; this is not a natural expression of love. This difference should be understood properly since it is an important factor which separates pure love from corrupted love.
Pure love will always express itself naturally whereas corrupted love will be accompanied by compulsions or conditions. It means that in the second case, you need to make sure that certain conditions are met by your lover and hence these conditions are mentioned through your expressions of love; either consciously or subconsciously.
In the first case, the expression of love will be pure since you have nothing except love deep down, for this woman. However in the second case, the expression of love will be assertive and it will try to bind your lover with some conditions; though these conditions may be subconscious and they may be very fine. It means neither you nor your lover may be able to notice these conditions on conscious level. However, your subconscious mind as well as her subconscious mind understands these conditions and this is what matters the most.
Let’s now try to understand it with the help of an example. Since pure love or love which has high percentage of purity is difficult to observe these days; let’s stick to the relationship which still has the ability to have this type of love. Suppose a mother loves her son purely or the purity is as high as 90% if not 100%. If such is the case, she keeps doing each and everything which comforts her son and which she can do; but she doesn’t feel the need to tell him that she’s doing so much for him. In fact, this mere thought may look strange to her because if her love is such; she may never feel the need to express this fact to her son.
A mother does so much for her son. If her love is high in purity; two things will accompany her acts. The first thing is that she’ll naturally engage in the acts which comfort her son and she may not have to think even once, which means there is no conscious effort. The second thing is that she may never feel the need to tell her son that she’s doing so much for her, which means she only wants to love and she doesn’t want to claim this love on conscious level.
In simple words; she doesn’t feel the need to make her son aware of the fact that she loves her and that is why she does so much for her; because all she’s interested in is love and she’s not interested in any reward in exchange for this love. This is because her karma which means her love for her son serves as a reward for her and she doesn’t want anything else. It means she’s focused on the karma of love and she’s not focused on the result of this karma.
This topic needs proper understanding since we’re walking a very fine line here and the chances of interpreting it in a wrong way are high. Kindly note that even a mother who loves her son like this; may tell him hundred times a day that she loves him and she may still have pure love for him. As already mentioned; it is not an expression of love which says it is corrupted; it is a forced expression of love which says the love is corrupted. A natural expression of love is the one which happens without any expectation in return. On the other hand, a forced expression of love happens when your primary objective is to gain some type of advantage in return for this expression; though it may all happen subconsciously and you may not know it consciously.