In order to do so, you have to choose activities which you really like and which are small so that you don’t have problems engaging in them and completing them. These acts have to be conscious as engaging in conscious acts is the best way to see better results at the earliest. At the first level, you should choose small conscious activities like going to a restaurant or some food joint which offers some of your favorite food items and the taste is just what you like the most. It doesn’t have to be a major meal and it could be something small like a snack.
Take this food item and try to eat and enjoy it as consciously as you can. It means you should not attend to any phone calls, talk to anyone else or look at some TV screen while having this food item and you should devote your entire concentration to eating and enjoying this food item. Finish this food item by enjoying it to the maximum and after that, complement the management or the chef whichever is possible, for serving you with such a tasty food item. Since you really like this food item and you have enjoyed it, it will be comparatively easy for you to feel satisfied and give complement. This feeling of satisfaction and the act of giving complement send signals to your subconscious mind that you can enjoy and complement also.
Similarly choose from other small items like sweets, chocolates, potato chips, ice creams, juices, soft drinks and many other such items which you really like a lot. Eat or drink them with your entire focus on enjoying them, feel satisfied and then tell any person near you that you ate or drank this item and you really loved it. For example, eat a small pack of your favorite brand and flavor of chocolate with conscious focus. Once it is finished, tell your friend, colleague, girlfriend or anyone else near you that you really love this brand as well as flavor of chocolate and you enjoy it a lot. Once again, you have sent message to your subconscious mind, through this specifically targeted conscious activity that you can enjoy and complement.
In order to engage in more conscious, small and specific activities of the same type, you can choose to listen to or watch your favorite songs with conscious focus; watch some of your favorite scenes from some movies; read a few lines from your favorite books or articles; put on your favorite perfumes and enjoy them; talk to your favorite people and enjoy the conversation; get together with your favorite people and enjoy this get together to the maximum; play your favorite video games, computer games or any other types of games and enjoy them thoroughly; wear your favorite dresses again and again in rotation and enjoy wearing them; engage in your favorite hobbies and enjoy doing so, like swimming, playing football, shopping, watching movies and other such hobbies; and engage in many other such activities which you like a lot.
While engaging in these activities, you should make sure that such activities meet some compulsory conditions as otherwise, the purpose of engaging in them may not be served. At the first level, the activities must be the ones you really like engaging in. You must engage in them consciously which means devoting your entire concentration to these activities by not doing anything else simultaneously. You must enjoy, feel satisfied and give complement to someone after that. If anyone of these compulsory things is missing, you may not be able to witness proper benefits.
Therefore, after listening to your favorite song and enjoying it, you must tell someone that you really like listening to this song and it makes you happy. Follow the same pattern in case of other such activities by concentrating on them, enjoying them to the fullest and by saying good words about those activities to someone else. The most important part of this remedy is to enjoy an activity to the fullest and then say good words about it. These two acts when done consciously, will send messages to your subconscious mind that you can enjoy and pay complements.
If you engage in an activity but you don’t enjoy it consciously like drinking your favorite mango juice while talking to someone else, a strong message of ‘I can enjoy’ won’t be sent to your subconscious mind. This is because you did not enjoy the juice actively and you just drank it passively while you were talking to someone else. Similarly, when you enjoy drinking this mango juice actively but you don’t tell anyone else that you love this juice and you enjoyed a lot having it, a strong message of ‘I can pay complements’ won’t be sent to your subconscious mind, since you have not actively given a complement to anyone about this juice.
The need to engage in these activities consciously, enjoy them to the maximum and complement afterwards, carries supreme importance and it can’t be substituted by anything else. Hence you need to strictly follow these guidelines. This is the reason why you have to choose activities which you like a lot because it is easy to enjoy something you like and then give complements about it. More you keep consciously enjoying a variety of small but your favorite activities and more you keep complementing, more is the number of messages sent to your subconscious mind that you can enjoy and pay complements. Hence more are the chances that you are going to recover from this negative habit at the earliest.
With time, you may start complaining less and you may start finding reasons to enjoy things and then say good words about them. This is because your subconscious mind has been told again and again that you want to enjoy and pay complements. Accordingly, it starts helping you in enjoying more and complementing more. For example, you go to a party and instead of making complaints about a food item which has not been cooked properly, you may move on to next food item which tastes really good. You may enjoy this food item and you may say good words about this food item. Compared to this, you made many complaints about the bad food item in the same situation you faced some time ago.
Nothing seems to have changed in the situation itself, which means you came across a bad food item at a party just like you did some time ago. However, the way you react to the situation has changed completely and that is what makes the difference. Earlier in the same situation, you chose to make complaints about a bad food item and spoil the fun for yourself as well as for the others, in addition to promoting your habit of complaining too much. Now you have decided to ignore the food item with problems and instead enjoy other food items which are good; and then say good words about them.
You see, the magic has happened and it has not happened due to anything changing from outside but it has happened from inside. Earlier, you had a subconscious script of feeling dissatisfied and making complaints in most situations. Through conscious acts, you sent so many messages of enjoyment and complements to your subconscious mind that it now wants to find reasons to make you enjoy and give complements. It means that earlier, you stuck to anything that seemed to bother you and you started making complaints about it whereas now you choose to ignore things which are not good for you and instead find, engage in and appreciate things which are good for you.
This is why more and more conscious acts of enjoying and appreciating various activities are required to treat this problem effectively. Each time you enjoy and appreciate, you tell your subconscious mind that you want to feel happy and you want to appreciate. Accordingly, your subconscious mind starts finding ways to make you feel happy and say good words. That is why it encourages you to ignore food items or any other things which are not good and it instead motivates you to find something else which is good. Hence all you’ve done is changed yourself from inside and the results outside have changed, though the situations remained the same.
Always remember that the outside world will be full of good as well as bad things. In order to get rid of habit of complaining too much, you can’t wait for all the bad things or flaws in things and people to disappear because that has never happened and that is never going to happen. The solution to this problem does not lie in finding flawless or perfect things and people, but it lies in ignoring the ones you don’t like and instead finding, enjoying and appreciating the ones you like. The world is not going to change much from outside but your world can always change from inside. That is why Heaven and Hell lie within you and not outside.
As you keep enjoying more and more things and people, and as you keep appreciating them, you will start getting rid of complaining too much and you will start developing the habit of complementing. This is the exact opposite of what you had before.
Himanshu Shangari